I recently had occasion to experience one of my favorite thrills in life: Returning/exchanging items at a local electronics store which shall remain nameless, but it rhymes with Best Buy.
With the "aid" of one of their fine sales staff, I had managed to walk out of the store with two video games which did not match the game system I had also purchased at that time. Unlike most of my male peers, I'm not at all versed in the video game culture, my flirtation ending somewhere around Atari 2600's Space Invaders. Once I went off to college, I left them behind, preferring to use my free time to study hard and help those less fortunate. Okay fine, I smoked a lot of weed and took a lot of naps while listening to "British Steel." But that is neither here nor there. My ignorance forced me to lean on the knowledge of the blue-shirted experts, who managed to get me the wrong games, a fact I only realized after opening one and seeing quite clearly that it would not marry to the console.
Armed with my receipt and a healthy regard for what is right, I sidled up to the return counter, where a snarling bulldog with a red pen and name badge greeted me with a disdainful click of the tongue. She informed me that she could exchange the unopened game for the one I needed, but the opened package could only be swapped for the exact same game, which of course would still be incompatible with AJ's Gameboy. I opined that was silly. She replied that it was policy. I took a deep breath and went all logic on her.
"So the unopened one can be returned and I can get the right game for my system."
"But the opened one can only be exchanged for another of its kind."
"Which I can't use."
"That's our policy, sir."
"We don't accept returns on opened software or video games."
"But you do."
"You accept them for the exact game."
"So you do accept returns of opened software or video games."
"Wait. Stop there. Let's not get to part two yet. Let's verify that you accept opened software and video games."
"But only for exchanges of the exact game."
"Why does that stupid lady keep saying the same thing over and over again?"
"OK. Here's what we're gonna do."
"I would like to exchange the opened video game for an unopened one of the same kind."
"Then, right here in front of you, I'm going to open that new video game and ask to exchange it for another unopened one. And I'm going to do that five or six times, at which point I'll probably get bored standing here wasting both our time and ultimately exchange an UNOPENED one for the game I actually need, because, we have established you DO to that, per your precious policy. Now, that's Option One and I'm relishing standing here and having you transact this exchange over and over again. Option Two would be to eliminate those unnecessary steps, which I believe you can agree would be most inefficient, and just go ahead and let me return this opened game for the one I need."
"Let me get my manager."
Seriously, has nobody ever punched that similar common sense hole in their policy? I can't imagine. Anyway, the manager came over and gave me what I wanted without a peep. He smiled, in fact, tousled AJ's hair, and was generally swell about the whole thing. Of course, he was obviously gay and I was looking pretty good.