Random Things That Happened in the Last Week

In a bar on the Hermosa Beach Pier, a serially-enhanced woman wearing impossibly high heels responded to a comment about her shoes by saying, "Honey, I have heels so tall I can only wear them when I'm on my back."

I played pretty well in the DADI 6-handed tournament--and enjoyed having The Champ on my right for most of it--until X came back to pick up a few more things and I almost immediately pushed my stack into the nuts. I believe there's a cute Latin phrase for questionable cause and effect (post hoc ergo some shit), but I don't speak Latin.

I bought MLB 06 for my PSP (I'll be 40 years old in 15 months) and played the A's vs. the Cubs. In three of the first four innings, I got the first two A's on base and failed to score each time, proving once and for all that the people who make video games are scary in their attention to detail.

I had microwaved chili for dinner.

It turns out I have to close my bank account instead of simply removing X from access, which means my online bill pay, various internet accounts, offshore tax shelters and poker contacts need to be altered, closed or cashed out before I can have sole access to my money.

I was about 6 Italian beers into my Friday night when I realized I'd forgotton to eat, so on the way to the bar, I picked up some Beef Jerky and Granola bars from the nearby convenience store. My "dinner" was paid for by an absurdly good-looking blonde in our group who spent most of the evening worrying that the dopey guy in the Ashton Kutcher outfit (jeans, white t-shirt tucked into front of jeans so as to reveal large belt buckle, mesh and foam trucker cap) didn't REALLY like her. At one point, I grabbed her by both shoulders and fairly screamed at her, "HE'S A DORK! YOU LOOK LIKE PAMELA ANDERSON! STOP BEING SO STUPID!"

I finished a "rather proud of myself" 154th in the $200K on Sunday, 55 off the money and in the top 15%. I got aces once in the first hour and busted a short stack. Got tens once in the third hour to double up. But I never had a five digit stack. I spent most of my last 90 minutes throwing my chips into the pot first with any two just to stay ahead of the blinds. Good plan until it doesn't work, like when I pushed with Kournikova from the CO and got called by AQo in the SB. Thanks to all of you who hung out to cheer me on.

Since I'm Divorce Boy, my friend--whose birthday party I was attending--kept intoroducing me to other divorced people with kids, including a couple now dating. They explained that the woman's kid was being babysat by the boyfriend's Ex that evening. Weird, huh? Oh yeah, they were also in their mid-40s and on Ecstacy.

I played the WPBT POY PLO (BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Acronym overload!) on Sunday night. I suck hard at PLO and proved it almost immediately, putting one guy on tilt when I rivered a boat to beat his straight. I felt really bad, so I gave it all back to him on a failed flush draw against his turned straight.

I got a tip at work today that a very well known, A-list, Big Time, hot, hot, hot comedic actor in Hollywood (know who it is yet?) had died in a para-gliding accident, which is so silly I shouldn't have believed it, but I did--the source was semi-reputable--and worked up his profile with a heavy and disappointed heart, only to find out it was false, which did brighten things a bit on my day. And that's really the best I can do in the run-on sentence department.

Last night, I fell asleep on the family room couch, which I suspect will be a fairly regular thing for me in the short-term. I woke to see the thermometer reading a chilly 58 degrees in the house, until I got upstairs where I had accidentally left the heat on and saw it was 78 up there. At least it was toasty when I got out of the shower.

I took the training wheels off AJ's bike and after a few moments of abject fear, he did okay (with me steadying him). He was so amazed by the feeling, he tended to giggle too much and forget to focus on the whole pedaling thing, but I'll take a giggle any day.

I've used the German phrase "Das UberGeigh" eleven times since Bobby found that video.