Mis-Deal

Another weekend post. Color me prolific.

A few years back, I read a book. It's name escapes me but it was of the self-help variety, along the lines of unlocking creativity. I recall little of its teachings, that kind of thing not really appealing or speaking to me. But I do remember a term/concept that resonated, because it applied.

A "Crazy Maker" was defined as someone who served only to criticize. Let's put aside for a moment how stupid the term itself is and focus on the concept. In all walks of life, people are called upon, at times, to "put themselves out there." It's not the easiest thing in the world. Certainly not for those who are a little self-conscious, a little sensitive, traits which I have possessed too often in my past. "Crazy Makers" represent a roadblock to the creative process, a barrier to letting your words go for fear of their reaction. Which was always a problem for me.

When I started the blog, I had many of the same issues. As time went on, they fell away. I became comfortable with exposing myself, not editing and putting down a flowing narrative of what was I going through or thinking at that precise moment without fear of judgement. Part of that was I was writing anonymously, out of sight of friends and family. But a funny thing happened. I started to take some pride in what appeared here. I wanted to share it with people who knew me. So I told 'em about it.

I'm happy to report that fact hasn't stopped me from continuing to post honestly, even to my own detriment. Including this here. Because the fact of the matter is, I get plenty of support, enough to know that the venture is as worthwhile as I think it is.

On the other hand, some people aren't happy unless they're bringing others down, sitting in judgement from afar with nothing to add but criticism. I'm sure they think they're being clever. Maybe even harmless. But I'd wager if they were honest about their motivations, they probably wouldn't be too proud of their behavior.

Yes, for the record, I'm bothered. Not because I think the criticism is valid. It's been a long time since I've had such a buzz about a project, which is how see this blog. It is both important and rewarding. No, I'm bothered that people who profess to be my friends can't ever manage a kind word, only hurtful ones.

I'm not sorry I shared it with them. I'm sorry they won't share it with me.