Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Fleece Pimp

A conversation:

Id: Hits are down, bitches. Comments are few and far between. I'M DYING HERE!
Ego: What should we do?
Id: Fix it! Now!
Superego: How? What makes a good blog?
Id: Porn.
Superego: That doesn't seem morally right to me.
Ego: Yes, the blog should be geniune, a synthesis of our experience. Personalized and truthful, but containing universal themes which speak to others' lives and experiences.
Id: Bah! What about the dick jokes?!?! Those are funny. People like those. That's a universal theme.
Superego: I'm more comfortable with the gambling aspect--which I'm not comfortable with at all--than the dick joke aspect.
Ego: Poker isn't gambling, you pansy nitwit. Boy, those Southern Baptists are STILL ruling your world view. Anyway, as I was saying, we need to be interesting and open. Let people in, prance about in our head for a bit to see if there's anything they can hold onto.
Id: Yeah! Let's gamble! Action, action, action!
Ego: What we need to do is chart a consistent path, find a voice, a style, that works for us. Establish ourselves as "That Blog" and then occasionally be something different. Something unique.
Id: We already have a style! You and your stupid big words. Nobody knows what "lugubrious" means. Look where THAT'S gotten us.
Superego: "Lugubrious?" Oh dear, we're not talking about porn again, are we?
Id: Jesus...
Superego: Sinner!
Id: ...H. Christ. When are we gonna re-condition this primitive twit. We're not 8 years old any more. Not to mention the whole Oedipal thing.
Ego: I think we're off the track now. To your corners gentlemen. The issue remains. A good blog should be interesting, informative, enjoyable and relevent. It should be truthful and encompassing, shedding light not just on the good, but the bad, both of which can be instructional and entertaining to the reader. It should present us as we are, absent dissembling...
Id: Goddamnit with the big words!
Ego: Sorry. It shouldn't be dishonest.
Superego: Thou Shalt Not Lie.
Ego: It should be frequent and thought out, with the ability to inspire recognition in others. And, hopefully, a little humorous.
Id: Yay! Dick jokes!

And.............

End scene.

I sure hope Poker Stars likes Freud.

10 Comments:

At 7:36 PM, Blogger TripJax said...

and yet another fresh take on the pokerstars request. i, for one, loved it. damn, you act like you write for a living or something...

good stuff man.

what size jacket do you wear, and do you like the feel of fleece?

 
At 8:03 AM, Blogger Poker Nerd said...

You're posting too fast. Slow down, we can't keep up!

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger StunBmun said...

"I sure hope Poker Stars likes Freud."

Nope, they hit his doom switch 3 weeks ago.

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Easycure said...

Does Armani do fleece?

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger Huge Junk said...

You said something about porn and dick jokes?

C'mon man...

MAKE WITH THE PORN ALREADY!?!

 
At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anymore stories like this one, you won't have to worry about reader counts and hits. Worst post ever.

 
At 7:35 AM, Blogger Huge Junk said...

I think you gave the anonymous guy a boner.

I know I get one every time I lamely flame someone who's genius I'm too dumb to clearly see while hiding behind the anonymous tag.

Run on sentences rock, by the way!

 
At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bob,.....if you only knew.

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger Rod said...

Simply brilliant; thanks for the laughs! If Poker Stars doesn't recognize this post, it's only because they missed reading it.

 
At 5:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's "whose," Bob. Not "who's".

p.s. Douchebag

 

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