Laundry List

I played too much poker, drank too much beer, had too many chat windows open and had too many wives pissed off at the plethora of poker being played.

Behold...

The Friday Night Poker Tale of the Tape

1. Donked right out of the Wil Wheaton tourney scant minutes after arriving. Was initially seated with Iggy and Joanne, before moving to BadBlood's table. It was The Man With the Guns who eventually put me out, calmly and coolly checking his pocket jacks on a ragged flop. When the initial raiser made a weak bet, I pushed with my 66. And that was that. I did hang around and watch G-Rob dominate the proceedings, though with a few more chips, I think the Sickness that is Daddy may have given him a run for his hair...er...money. Congrats to The Champions.

2. Entered the $50 MTT on Stars due to my lack of tournaments to play following my ignominious exit from the above. Played quite well into the second hour where I ran my QQ into KTs, quickly followed by running my AQ into AK. A few words about the latter. Never, in all my born days, have I ever seen AK played so passively as I have lately. In this particular hand, the guy took half his time bank to call my flop (A43 rainbow) raise. Then, on the ten turn, he checked and took THE REST of his time bank to call my all-in with AK. WTF? I understand that I was the aggressor in the hand and he's happy to let me do his betting for him, but what's with the slow fucking play!?!? Totally tilted me, since I pegged his reluctances as AJ or so. ANYWAY...

3. ...in the meantime I was in a cash NL game with all manner of bloggers, some of whom I didn't even know. I doubled my buy-in there, waiting for Group One hands and only betting when they made Quads Beetches.

4. I left them during the $50, but immediately after falling out of that one, I entered the $20 MTT on Stars (and my wife began calling divorce lawyers). I managed to money in that one, the smallest award possible. Had a relatively big stack early, but went card dead for an hour and down to Push Monkey status I cleverly shoved my KQ into AA. It's all about the timing people.

5. Still unsated, I moved into a $20 single-table SnG with a bunch of rocks, which I'm playing as I type. I nearly tripled up in the second level with a set of tens (v. a set of 4s and AK drawing to a gunshot). After that, I folded for 6 hours. Then I busted a guy. Nothing too interesting. Just superior reads and play. With 5 left, I was one of two big stacks. Then there were 4, but I really had no hand in that. The passive nature of these fuckers drives me insane. Of course, when I raise with air, I get re-raised. The little stacks slowly came back to the pack, thanks to my shit cards, aborted steals and the ridiculous passivity of the other big stack. Hey dude, you can raise, go ahead. Maybe just once, try a little something different. Seriously, the little cocksucker hasn't raised once pre-flop. He's got 3x the chips of anybody else and all he does is fold. I'm dying to get the little fairy heads-up. Which might not happen since I get sucked out on a 60-40. Still got a 2-1 chip lead on 4th place, but goddamit, that bitch has my chips. We've seen 4 flops in the last 42 hands. Yes, four. I've worked my way back to second with lots o' raisin', based on that fact. I mean, c'mon. Are we playing poker or are we having a circle jerk? Take your hands off your cocks people and raise! The Big Stack is to my right. He hasn't raised my BB once and given me several walks. If he doubled up ANY of the remaining players, he'd still be in the chip lead. It makes me wanna throw up. Fortunately, I've got balls. In my BB, I called the short-stack's all-in with QdTd. He had A6o. Fair enough. Flop? All diamonds. Now that we're 3-handed, I'm enjoying raising every time on the button and getting walks in my BB. I've steadily taken the chip lead. Mr. Passive Big Stack is now 3rd. None of us has more than 8x the BB. Though I'll say this about the guy, when he bets or calls, he's packin'. Just sent 3rd place on his way with AK and we are now Heads Up. I dismissed him within 8 hands. Told ya I could wait to get him Heads Up. As Ray Liotta said in "Goodfellas," "Fuck You, Pay Me!"

So, after all that, I've actually booked a little profit on the evening. Nice. I teased a possible Drunken Crazy Re-Buy post tomorrow night, but this will have to do. I think if I spend 6 hours playing poker tomorrow night, those divorce papers won't be far behind. I'll get ya next time.