Crazy Train

We're coming to you LIVE from Level 6 of the Crazy $11 Re-Buy on Stars. Odd that I begin the running commentary at this point, you say? Well, I wasn't drunk before. Now I am.

I've got a slightly above average stack of T12K+ (that's fin to write, though, technically, it might be T12+K. Or not). Top 30% of chips currently. Only took me 5 re-buys and an add-on the get it.

Yikes.

Dropped two buy-ins with TT v. KQ. Two more with AK v. KT. Then doubled up late in the re-buy with AK v. A5. One add-on and you have $71.

The good news is I've nearly doubled my post re-buy period stack by not playing pussy poker. For that, I thank Bill Rini.

I got heads-up with Reigning WPBT Champion Bill Rini during the LA Blogger Home Game SnG (jeez, these titles). We went at it for a half-hour or so, with me finally prevailing. At which point, Billy Legend said to me, "I couldn't push you around."

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So, tonight. I'm not getting pushed around. I am the aggressor.

8:57 p.m.: To wit: I've won only one hand at showdown (of 3, the losses detailed above), but 8 without showdown. Couple of those were flush chasers that didn't hit. One was kinda too bad since I flopped a boat. Was begging for a diamond. Still got a good chunk out of the guy, but value bet not called on the end.

9:00 p.m.: The BEST play I've made tonight, one that I often play differently, is raising UTG+1 with 44. For one, I've got some respect at the table with my raises. I've not shown down any crap. Two, both big stacks at my table call everything and largely suck, playing any two paint and any ace. So, naturally, they both calledn(one in the BB). Flop was A87, which I liked. So, I fired a 3/4 bet at it and they folded.

Not pussy poker.

9:03: I am currently in a three-orbit streak of folding. I got ATs once, but some guy went all-in for 7K (with 300 in blinds at stake), so I went ahead and folded that.

9:04: You're bad luck. All y'all. AcKc. I raise. Short stack pushes. Easy call. He's got KK. Dropped 3K.

9:13: Well, this is some crazy shit. Level 8. 200/400 w/25 ante. I open-raise on the button with QJo. Loose stack in the BB calls. Flop gives me an OESD and he check-folds to my bet. Nice. Next hand, I get AA. Same raise. All folds (dammit). Next hand, I get AhKh. Same raise. BB calls. He checks the AQx flop and I purposefully over-bet it. He pushes. Thank you. I call and he has AKo. Split. I fold a hand. Next hand I get AA again. Same raise. Which I wish I hadn't done. They had all just seen my AK, so...But since it was THE FOURTH TIME IN FIVE HANDS I RAISED PRE-FLOP, I'd hoped I'd get action. I did not.

I did get a fair amount of chips back. Coulda been SO much more, however.

9:19: Of course, when THAT GUY gets AA, some a-hole Big Stack calls (for an extra 7K when not nearly pot-committed) with 55.

9:20: Would you say it's a valid theory that a fair percentage of the Big Stacks in the second hour of these Re-Buys are crappy Luckboxes that sucked-out early? I don't know the percentage, but they're fairly easy to spot. See previous entry.

9:23: Mastodon. The album is called "Leviathan" (had it backward, Blood). Kool Breeze recommended it. It's HARD. Length of time it took me to figure I'm gonna like it? 17 seconds. True story. If that's your thing, get on it.

9:25: Break Time. Gosh. Had some good hands, but didn't accumulate like you need to. I'm 8K below average and sitting mid-300 out of 500. Okay as far as blinds go. For two levels.

9:31: We had AJ's birthday party today. Because we are both goofy and narcissistic, we had video of his infancy running on the TV during the festivities. Gawd, the things you forget. When he'd stand on his toy box to look out the window at the Garbage Truck. How he'd shriek some Velicorapterish noise at his Truck Book and would continue to do it incrementally until you told him exactly what kind of truck it was. Yes, he was obsessed with trucks. His first word was "truck," though it came out "guck," which considering the alternative just a single letter away, was a relief.

On one hand, you feel terrible for not remembering. On the other, well, you pat yourself on the back for recording it.

The interesting thing is that he's so different now, but still the same, if that makes sense. His angry face at two months is the same as his angry face now. But he really doesn't look anything like he did when he was born.

9:39: In the meantime, I whiffed on a flop with AQs, dropping a chunk.

9:42: How to play 99? Oh, those middle pairs. UTG+1 limped with it. A second limp and I see a free flop with 65o in my BB. Flop? 553. I check. Small bet from UTG+1 (what is your problem, dude?) and a push from Big Stack limper behind. Uh, I call? As does UTG+1 who loses his friggin' shirt (and tourney), as does Big Stack with 44. Ladies and Gentelmen, I have tripled up, through no skill of my own.

I will take Luck, however. Boy, will I take it.

9:48: When did Presto become a hand to call an all-in with?

9:51: I was never much a fan of the Hefeweitzen, but I've been drinking it almost exclusively for about a month. Perfect beer whenit's a million degrees outside. Light, but alcoholic. Excellent combo. I like the Widmer the best of the ones I've tried. I will, however, accept any and all recommendations.

9:54: More AJ stuff. Deal with it. I just gave him some M&Ms. The small ones. I told him to eat them fast so they don't melt in his hands (the carpet), so he shoved the entire handful into his mouth.

9:57: Stupid Kournikova. I don't know why I even bother with that stupid hand. Okay, I was first in. I don't know why I even bother with a continuation bet with an ace on the flop. Oh well, gave it a shot.

5600 chips lemured away.

9:59: A Big Stack at my table has doubled up two players already. I have queued up for similar treatment.

10:02: Level 11. 15x the BB (600/1200; 75 ante). Harrington calculates it differently, but I'm drunk. And no, I can't work the computer calculator.

Jesus Christ, people. Fine. Every orbit costs 2475, so I have a 7.4 factor. Math geeks.

10:05: I can foreshadow like a motherfucker. Previously-mentioned Big Stack just doubled me up, though not a bad play by him. KK in the BB for me. He raised. A call behind from another Big Stack and I push. Previously-mentioned Big Stack also pushes, betting us heads up. He had the Hiltons. I survive. It's odd that I refer to being a 4-1 fave as "surviving," but that's the way it's gone.

Oh, and, uh, giddyup.

10:10: Harrington factor now at 17.2 after grabbing blinds and antes with JJ.

Math dorks.

10:12: Down to one beer. Further penetration into this tournament will mean one of two things. The dear and patient wife will have to make a beer run. Or I will have to turn to shots of whiskey.

Danger Bees.

10:13: Those of you who have made it this far may have noticed the Big Blind has been a HUGE boon to me this evening. I just (correctly) folded J5o in the BB to a 4x raise (and call). Flop came 555.

I will not fold in the BB ever again.

10:19: Me: So, you gonna make a beer run?
Dear and Patient Wife: Fuck no.

10:20: AQ is bleeping KILLING me tonight. Dropped another chunk (to the same guy as last time, by the way, who is the Big Stack) when the flop came KJJ. Check-check. Flop is the third J and I go ahead and make a (relatively) tiny little bet, hoping it missed him and the bet will be perceived as value-ish. He called and I check folded to his river bet.

10:27: Got that chunk back, in, er, the BB. Qc2c and I called a min. raise (I told you I wasn't folding). Queen high flop, which I checked. Initial raiser made a continuation bet, got a fold and I pushed. I was not particularly happy about it. Until the guy folded. Then I felt okay.

10:30: Break time. 97 of 201. Just below average. Harrington factor of 7 with upcoming blinds and antes at 1500/3000; 150.

Math nerds.

10:40: I married the right woman.

"Okay, I'll go get your stupid beer."

10:41: I folded my BB.

10:42: Interesting, huh?

10:43: The Big Stacks at the table are raising every hand pre-flop. That's the way you do it. They're lined up to my right. Three of 'em. A Gauntlet of Force. Hope I get something to snap 'em off. 'Cause stealin's out of the question.

10:46: Okay, got one (blinds and antes). A9s good enough.

10:47: Here's my number one rule of parenting. If you want your child to sleep, let 'em stay up real late. They lay down and 90 seconds later, they're out.

Yes, AJ just went to sleep.

Point of clarification: AJ's regular bed time is 10 p.m. Why? Because the dear an patient wife doesnt' go to work until the late morning, so he can sleep in. Two, because I don't get home until relatively late in the evening, so if he went to bed at say, 8 p.m., like normal kids, I'd never get to see him. Plus, the wife is off on Mondays, so Sunday night is like Party Night around here.

10:50: Stop me if you've heard this one before. I just more than doubled up with Big Slick in the BB. UTG raised 3x. SB and I called. Flop came AKx. I had about the pot left, so I just pushed. UTG called with AQ.

Swell.

10:52: So, those Big Stacks to my right? There's only one left. And he doesn't have much more than I. Currently sitting 26 of 146. Harrington Factor of 12.

Math dweebs.

10:57: Hand-for-hand, though the first money level doesn't quite return my investment.

10:58: Alright. It's official. I am playing strong poker. Again, with the Big Blind. I get TT. Short stack (about 30% of my stack) pushes. I'm gonna call," I say to the wife. Button raises all-in. "I'm gonna fold," I say to the wife. Short stack? A8o. Button? JJ.

Perfect.

10:59: Money! I'm now only down $13.

11:01: We turned off the AC a couple hours ago, but it's still fucking hot. So I just moved to remove my shirt (easy, ladies), until I realized I've gotten this far WITH a shirt and it's my WPBT shirt.

I'll suffer.

11:10: Played that one badly. 33 in the BB (natch). Called a min. raise to see a flop of KK4. Normally, that's the perfect flop at which to lead, but the Raiser in Question is the big stack, who has called Every. Single. One. of my flop bets. So, check-check. Turn is a ten, and again, with the fucking checking. Turn is a 4, rendering me obsolete. I fold to his bet.

Pussy poker.

On the other hand, if I make a substantial bet there and he calls, he most likely sucks out since, in the end, I only play the board.

11:15: Moved up a money level. This tourney is offically profitable. To the tune of...doesn't matter.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

11:167 Sitting 57 of 97. Harrington factor of...uh, nothing.

Or close to nothing. AT on the button. I'm first in and raise 4x. SB pushes and it's only 4K for me to call. He's got aces.

I'm in trouble, though in position.

Oh, and I'm not 57th anymore, like I was when I started that particular entry.

11:21: Big Stack doubled me up. I pushed with A9o and he called with JTo. No improvement. One more, dude.

11:22: He just doubled up another guy the very next hand WITH A TERRIBLE PLAY.

I'm starting to like this fucker. If I can get another, that is. Otherwise, he sucks.

11:24: Deja vu all over again. 77 in the BB. Push from a short stack. I'll call. Push behind. I'll fold. AJ from the first guy. AA from the second.

11:26: Getting spooky. See entry from 11:22. Big stack raised. I pushed from my SB with AQo. He called with KTo. No improvement until my ace on the river.

I LOVE that fucker. Though he is no longer a Big Stack.

11:30: Oh boy. I just got moved. To a table with four--count 'em, FOUR--Stacks with twice what I've got. I liked the last group. You know, 'cause I knew the Big Stacks sucked.

11:34: This is beginning to run a bit late. Six hours 'til the alarm. And I've still got beers.

11:35: We have moved up another money level. I've doubled my buy-in. It's officially "worth it."

11:40: Break Time. 38 of 59. Harrington Factor of 4. Yikes.

11:48: Look who's got chips. Man. Big Blind again. UTG raise and I push with my......wait for it.......KK. AJ calls and I double up.

11:51: Mmmmmmmmmmm, big stack poker. 13 of 48.

11:52: Been a long times since I've been this deep in the Crazy Re-Buy. I think I had a 33rd place finish just after the Vegas conclave. I'm a little giddy.

And a lot drunk. I''ll lay 3-1 that I'm the most fucked up person remaining in this tourney. I'm on the precipice of wasted.

Which, when you think about it, doesn't exactly say a lot about my poker sills.

11:59: You know what's good? Microwaved barbecued hot dogs. With mustard and relish. Seriously. It's like the greatest meal one could conjure. Oh, and by the way, if you put ketchup on your hot dog, you're lame. And if you teach that behavior to succeeding generations, they will also be lame. I feel very strongly about this.

12:01: Past the witching hour. I just got moved and a HUGE stack is directly to my left. Somebody hold me

12:03: 19 of 41. My Harrington Factor is both low and inconsequential. I have 10x the BB (which is 20K).

12:05: Down to four tables. Pretty evenly matched at my table. Hig of 309K. Low of 125. Me at 165.

12:12: Focusing. At least once, I saw four down cards.

12:18: Jamie Presley's gotten down with like eight guys in this Poison ivy movie, but it's on FX so I haven't seen a single nipple.

See, focusing.

12:20: Down to 3 tables. I'm pretty short, though. 21 of 25 remaining.

Not so short that I'd push with A5o, however, with a raise in front.

12:27: Au revoir. Called a short stack (short or no, he had me slightly covered) all-in with A9s. Iffy, at best, but I figured a short stack would push with more marginal holdings, so......

He had Big Slick. No nine, no hearts and I'm out in 25th. First bad decision I made all night. It's always one.

Thanks for comin' along. I guess you were good luck after all.

Editor's note: I meant to go back and link all the bloggers I referenced here, but since I am stupid drink and it's late, I won't. Regardless, I respect and admire you all. And that's not just the beer talkin'.