Search and Rescue
I had just told Al how I thought the play in his Riverchasers tourney was pretty solid when I got crippled (whilst 2nd in chips down to two tables) by a guy who called a pre-flop re-raise with Ac9c and then shoved his remaning stack in on the ten-high, two-club flop and, naturally turned the flush to crack my KK. And two hours later and I was still on fucking tilt.
But now I'm okay thanks to the wise counsel of some IRC folks and the re-reading of a comment from DonkeyPuncher regarding the hygenic shortcomings of German porn actresses, which reminded me of a story.
I was in Sweden, a family vacation, at a party with a group of X's friends. The house had a sauna, a traditional Swedish social activity and I was plenty drunk enough to not care everyone inside the steamy room--male and female--was naked. The woman of the house had similar issues as those DP experienced with his Rhineland Spank Vision. At one point, a guy bearing an excellent resemblance to Alfred E. Neuman pointed at the her...uh...bountiful crotch, leaned over and said, in delightfully fractured English, "You go down on this girl with the tongue, the Forest Ranger finds you in three days."