Live Blogging a Bunch of Crap

Since this is a Poker Blog, after all...

With X and AJ tucked in by 9:15, I fired up the poker machine for some gamb00000lery, which is a sad commentary on my skillz at this point. I eschewed my favored MTTs in the interest of time-management (and sleep), but jumped into a couple SnGs, a $30 two-table affair on Stars and a single table of the same buy-in on Full Tilt. These were my bread and butter before I made a couple final tables and got hooked on the big payday potential of the MTTs. Back to the grind, baby. I resolved to play ABC poker and stop trying to make laser reads on people, a recent affliction that has caused the bankroll to cringe in horror.

The two-table started out pretty well. My group was rather awful and one luckbox twice put his money in when way behind only to hit his 4- and 5-outers to take the tourney lead. He then gave back a bunch on the following hand, which is just plain gold.

On a board of Q8833, he goes to war with Q7. His opponent has KQ. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, "When Donkeys Chat:"

LEEPYACK said, "how did I lose kicker doesn't play there"
LEEPYACK said, "**** poker star rules"

Gorgeous.

I nearly doubled up with JJ. Got two callers to my pre-flop raise and the dealer graciously put out KJ8 rainbow. I under bet (120 into 260) and got one caller. I bet 420 into 500 on the blank turn and he pushed. I happily called his K8 and dodged his two outs. And that's all the action you get. I folded for the next 4 levels. Yeesh. At the 75/150 level, I dropped a chunk to a flopped set of 6s. He checked the flop from the SB and it was checked around. He then led out on the King turn and with KQ, I figured I was good, as he'd have raised with AQ. I raised and he flat called, setting off ringing bells. He led out again on the blank river and I dropped. But I was still down to an M of 5. It was down below 4 when the blinds went up and I pushed with KQ from the CO. Are you surprised the SB woke up with KK? Me neither. the JTx flop gave me some hope, but it died. Out in 8th.

Meanwhile, over at Full Tilt, I was reduced to chasing a baby flush which I thankfully hit. It took me back to my starting stack after being out-flopped in every hand I had played to that point. Then I folded for an orbit or two. T1270 with blinds at 30/60 and 7 remaining.

I made a nice river call on a board of QQ542. Had 74o in the BB and the Q-high flop was checked around. I led at the Q turn and got one caller. Deuce on the river helped only one possible draw, but I checked my garbage hand anyway. Villian bet 215 into a 700 pot and...well...I gotta call bet. It stinks to high heaven (me not giving him credit for a big hand/value bet). He showed 32s for all the missed draws.

Then I got AA and busted AJ on a J-high flop. T3400 at 50/100. 6 remaining. Then I dropped a grand when a short-stack caught his OESD on the river (with all the money in on the flop). Poker may not hate me, but it isn't one of my bigger fans.

Got some of it back with QQ. Qxx flop with two clubs and I checked behind the BB (not my standard play, but I want more chips here). Turn did not bring the flush and he led out. I raised 3x and took it down.

People with Ms of 12+ pushing all-in pre-flop is funny. He had 98 last time he did it. Naturally, it was good.

We're down to 5 with two players under 7 M factor. Both appear to be patient. One big stack who is reasonably solid. Big stack just busted a shortie. Down to the bubble. I'm second at T2900.

Eeek. Big Stack just called an all-in from a shortie (M of 4+) with K5s. Shortie's Big Slick is good. Thanks, dude. We're now down to one big stack and three equal stacks. One of the equal stacks is a lunatic. All I need is one. Lunatic just rivered the Big Stack. That's 3 river miracles for him tonight. Must be his day. 'Cause when you play T4s to a raise and have no pair and no draw on the turn, you gotta put your money in.

This is turning into a live blogging situation. Mmmmmmmmmm, live blogging SnGs. What could be more entertaining?

Motherfuck. KK cracked by KTo. I need a poker buddy. Someone I can call next time I think about playing and can remind me of both my inability to play and the junk kicking I regularly receive when I don't actually make another dumb play.

Sigh. I should stick to Douchebag Poetry.