Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Oh Yeah


It's Valentine's Day. Yesterday, I knew today was Valentine's Day. Today, I went to therapy (mmmmm, 7 a.m. brain dump), hopped the train, posted, did some work, jumped into Bloglines...uh...hey, it's Valentine's Day (for the record, Bobby caused the light to go on).

The fact that it's Valentine's Day, that marketing-driven psuedo-holiday, doesn't tilt me, doesn't force introspection or a heightened sense of loss. I suppose that's because the wife and I never paid the day much heed. It's a bullshit holiday. I didn't need greeting card companies to remind me to let the wife know how much I loved her. And she felt the same.

And also, because our wedding anniversary is on the 26th of February, rendering Valentine's even less important, in relative terms of meaning.

Now, the 26th...that's gonna be a day. Do I get to say we were married for 6 years, because technically we will still be married on that day? It's the Iron Anniversary, which sounds like a High School Football championship in Pennsylvania. And what kind of gift could one find made of Iron? Well, I asked Google. One site said, "Give your mate a ride on the Iron Horse," which is not just overtly suggestive, but creepy since Lou Gehrig's been dead for 64 years. Oh, they meant a train.

I actually bought the wife an anniversary present, back in those naive days when I thought our marriage was salvageable, before it dawned on me that she had zero interest in joining me in the reclamation effort. Cost me $1600, too. That's Sixteen-Hundred Non-Refundable Poker Bankroll Dollars.

I wonder what she's getting me?


At 1:54 PM, Blogger Huge Junk said...

I say you take that gift and sell it to someone for a fraction of the cost. Then take the cash and do two things.

First, buy a $100 bottle of something. Liquor or wine. Crack bottle open. Enjoy.

Next, play above your limits using the rest of the money.

Whatever you decide to do, just don't give it to her unless she completes a 360 at some point.

In it's place for your anniversary, I'd run out and buy her an iron skillet. Give it to her and tell her she needs help with her cooking because it was never very good.

Little seeds, my man. Plant those little seeds.

At 2:22 PM, Blogger BG said...

Bob's on to something there... But I wanted to chime in on the actual rule for calculating length of marriage. Two years from now, when asked, you'll say "technically about six and a half years, but it was really less than six." Like Bob was (kinda) saying, it's the little things that further marginalize your marriage you'll want to grab on to in the future.

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

How can someone top Bobby Bracelet when it comes to mad rants. Yet, I would send that gift to her hot cousin or sister. O.K. Also, I would take some of the money and give it to her and tell her, "Tell Michael to go get some skillz in a basic poetry class at the local Jr. College." Then I would take some of the money and fly out to NYC and hang with the boys for a weekend. Bring Little Man and we can take him to that Natural Museum of History. Oh, glad you are still going to see the doctor, man. My positive thoughts are with you and Little Man.

At 4:36 PM, Blogger Roman said...

Drop an anvil on her head.

That's what I'd do.

But I'm kind of a dick.

At 6:47 PM, Blogger Veneno said...

On this Valentine's let me say that I totally love poker and bloggers! I'm not buying a card or a gift for ya. But I will send a little love your way.


Just know that you are appreciated!!

At 7:18 PM, Blogger Donkeypuncher said...

I'm sure you could sell the present on eBay or swap on Craig's list.

Use the money to take AJ to a weekend at spring training.

Whatever is left over could get her some iron tablets to deal with the beret wearer's anemic poetry.

At 2:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

iron horse = motercycle

At 7:56 AM, Blogger Easycure said...

Hang in there, dude! Don't break anything valuable (like your hand).

Call me if you ever need to.

At 8:51 AM, Blogger Falstaff said...

Joe -

I'm with DP - sell that shit on Ebay. Regarding the blog - let it be what is , it's your damn blog, write what you want. We don't care if we're reading about you crushing low-buyin MTTs or crushing employee of the month martini glasses, we're your friends and wanna hear whatever it is you've got to say. Unless it's samples of little Mikey's poetry. Any of that crap and we'll all blow out our colons!



At 10:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know Speaker, I think that, above all, I admire the fact that you aren't on mega-life-tilt.

Until you mentioned it last post, I figured that you had gotten through most of the grieving process and were working on Acceptance.

You're a good man Speaker, and AJ's lucky to have you as his dad.

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Fat Dan said...

i would sell the gift and then set up a freroll blogger only tourney with the money. :)

That sounds like a great idea.


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