Conversations That Put Me on Tilt
Master bathroom, 6 a.m.
Dear and Patient Wife: I had a dream about Denise Richards last night.
Me: Yeah?
Dear and Patient Wife: We were totally getting it on, making out, going down on each other...
Me: (gurgles unintelligibly)
Dear and Patient Wife: It was hot. And you were watching.
Me: I think I'd better get back in the shower.
Dear and Patient Wife: But when you wanted to join in, she said no.
Me: What!?
Dear and Patient Wife: Yeah, she didn't want you. Said you were unclean.
Me: (kills self)
posted by Joe Speaker @ 8:27 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
At least it wasn't your dream where she wouldn't sleep with you. I've had that sort of thing happen. It's one of the most frustrating things in all of this world.
I need to get back to the shower now too. Damn.
I read this in the shower. Made it eaiser.
Awesome.
I must know. What was your wife drinking the night before?
Excuse me while I wipe the Diet Dr. Pepper off my screen......
Were you happy just to watch in the dream?
Or perhaps get a hold of a video camera?
What happens in the jammy jams room, STAYS in the jammy jams room.
I think this is actually her way at getting back at you for the other night playing poker. She has finally figured a way to capture 100% of your attention.
If she keeps this up, your bankroll will be covered in dust and cobwebs very soon.
Dear Mr. Speaker:
Since someone must play the role of prude here, I grudgingly accept. Since I recently offered to represent your wife pro-boner, I should be pleased that Denise Richards thinks you're unclean. However, I can't help but be a little disappointed that you get the most comments from girl-on-girl action (which is totally fine if it's two anonymous vixens, but I don't recommend fantasizing about your spouse in that depraved way.) I totally demand a retraction or may God help your Southern Baptist soul.
sincerely,
John Hathorne (get out your history books for that one)
It's true- there was no point to this.
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