Thursday, August 31, 2006

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Commence pimpage:

This is tonight. I'm signed up. Winner gets a seat at the Gavin Smith Charity Tourney in less than a month's time at the Bash. I'll probably be late, so you get the added incentive of my free blinds for 20 minutes or so. In addition, Full Tilt is in the midst of a months-long "Let's Fuck With Speaker" Telethon, so there's no way I'm winning. See you there.

Mookie has set up this charity tourney for a youngster affflicted with stage 4 neuroblastoma. This shit hits close to home and I hope you'll all contribute. I won't be able to play, but my money's going in regardless. Hug your kids and donate. More information on Tanner can be found here.


California April is raising money for asthma research and the people who continually call me and tell me to quit smoking: The American Lung Assn. She's actually gonna walk 5K to earn the money and she lives in California, so you know she has no experience with walking. The only thing more treacherous for a Cali resident would be to have them drive 5K in a light drizzle. So back her up with some cash. My ineffective cilia and I thank you.


Alright, this one's free! Your tangible reward for all the good you've done today. Pauly has published another excellent edition of his literary e-zine, Truckin'. If you're not reading Truckin', you're deeply and profoundly retarded and don't deserve to exist on our planet and should probably be shipped to Pluto, which isn't even a planet any more, so wee is your intellect. Seriously, I've been wearing my "I Heart Truckin'" t-shirt to the bars on weekends and have been forced to use my pint glass as a defensive weapon to keep all the fanbois and fangirls off of me.


At 11:59 AM, Blogger Pauly said...

thanks for the pimpage!

At 12:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for spreading the word about the Tanner tourney.

At 1:02 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Will Clonie remove that top for a $100 donation?

At 11:08 AM, Blogger Bill said...

I didn't know the testicle cozy came in size xxs.



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