One Time!

Alright A's, you've got your spikes on the Twinkies neck. From here it's simple:

Apply pressure.

Don't even think about contacting me until you do.

Your humble, panic-stricken servant,
Joe Speaker

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Congrats to the DonkeyPuncher Family on their new (apparently Irish-Catholic) addition. Pauly wins comments.

I remember the day AJ was born. Tim Hudson threw a complete-game shutout against the Tigers.

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I've rented my Fine Ass out for a wedding this weekend via my side-project Arm Candy Inc. Should be a good time if you base the entertainment potential on the dress my date will be wearing. My Gawd. One look at her and it makes a man wonder what the hell she'd be doing with me. And she'll probably be asking herself the same question if the A's blow a potential Game 5 the morning of the festivities, resulting in a certifiably morose companion who'll be into at least two flasks of pain-numbing whiskey by the time they get around to "I Do."

And let's hope my reaction to the vows is a little less sandy vaganistic than the last time.

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On the creepy scale, where does a little Indian (dot, not feather) guy surreptitiously sketching attractive women on the train rank? Especially if most of them come out with faces more equine than John Kerry's?

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You know that scene in "Searching for Bobby Fischer" when Josh takes Poe's queen and sticks the knife in with a "Trick or treat?" (one of my favorite underrated movie moments). I'd like to think that's what the braintrust at Full Tilt is feeling today with their big FU to Fristy the Snowman and Co. Sure, Josh soon had HIS queen taken, but he triumphed in the end. If you recall, Josh also offered a draw, even when he knew he had the game. Oh to hope for such conciliatory behavior from the principals in our Internet Gaming fight.

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Please God. Let the A's win just one more, verifying once and for all that you love me more than drizz.