Sunday, September 10, 2006

Week One

A buddy once asked me what were the finest three words a woman could say to you. As I was several beers in, I answered, "You're so big!" That was wrong. The real answer was something far more appropriate and sappy. So, my question to you, dear reader, is, what are the finest TWO words in the English Language?

I'll get to the answer later.

I've been awfully busy lately. I alluded to the reasons in the previous post. I feel like I am several people, all contained in a single body. There's AJ time, social time, work time, hanging out with an attractive woman time, filling out endless forms time, soccer pictures time, housecleaning time, even some poker time. And then there's ME time. Today, on this mostly lazy Sunday, I got some of that.

I'm currently enjoying my third beer, having finished watching Peyton beat his little brother, with considerable assistance from the officials, so thanks guys 'cause I enjoyed the outcome thoroughly and you should all know it wasn't because of any affinity for the Colts (hint!).

I've played a bit of poker this week--am even playing right now in the Stars Crazy Re-buy. Can't you feel the testosterone?--and it was mostly okay. I lost a 41K pot the other night when I got the guy all in on the turn as a better than 6-1 favorite, but the board paired turning his trips into a better boat than the one I made on the turn. Distressing, but I've come a long way as far as handling tilt, so I was pleased with my reaction, which was simply not to play any more.

My cards are terrible in this re-buy, but I'm only in for the minimum and there's still plenty of time. My table is garbage, which naturally means I have the second shortest stack. I may have made a poor fold on a KK9 flop when I got check-raised holding QQ. I felt it was a good fold at the time, but having seen the guy showdown a few hands since then, I'm not so sure.

I'm struggling a bit in this space because, as you all know, I usually lay my soul--and personal life--bare here, but I'm currently in a state where I like my private life exactly that. If you're interested, I'll be more than happy to share in person in Philly on the 23rd. What? You're not going? That is tragic. for those of you that are, I can't wait to see you fuckers again.

Remember when I used to live-blog the Crazy Re-Buy? Used to do it all the time. The combination of multiple beers and my meandering brain was a fun--and one hopes entertaining--thing to do. Of course, that was before Felicia pointed out how a truly pathetic and uninteresting pursuit it really was and I'm inclined to believe her. Turns out not everybody thinks I'm as funny as I do. There was certainly no poker knowledge value in those posts. Regardless, I'll put those long-winded solliloquoy's up against anyone's if there's ever an Olympic event.

I'm in the bottom 20% of the field in this Re-buy, but my M is still better than 10. I suppose that's why I love this tourney. More play for your buck, not to mention a better than $60K pool for $31 entry. Sure, I'd like more chips, but the last time I played this 'un I had 19K at the end of the re-buy and was out by this time (don't worry, I was ahead).

Is there anything on TV on Sunday night? Now that the game's over, I'm watching Roggin's Heroes, which is a fantastic show if you enjoy idiotic sports highlights, a face-lifted, hair-tinted Talking Head making an ass of himself seemingly on purpose and "trivia" along the lines of "What color is blue?"

Hahahahahahahaha. Said Talking Head just asked Oscar de la Hoya how he's enjoying retirement. The answer? "Actually Fred, I'm not retired." Nice crack research team over there.

So, what is there to watch? Had "Entourage" on the TiVo, but the season's over. There's my "The Shield" DVDs (well into Season Two), but those demand full attention. Can I just say again how hawesome that show is? When I do get a chance to watch, I find myself hitting three episodes back-to-back, especially if there's some sort of cliffhanger.

How 'bout them Packers?!?! Gonna be a long winter, stb. Of course, the depth of their suckitude is not secret, so betting the Bears today was as close to a gimme as things get (hint!). My main man Schotty is a long-time Bears fan, so I'm sure he enjoyed that.

From paragraph B to now, I've not played a single hand, roughly 23 minutes. I've moved up the leaderboard in that time, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

None of this is even remotely as interesting as my abject sorrow. I know. I'm aware. But I'd rather be creatively bankrupt thankyouverymuch.

Wow. Just wow. I call a min. raise with KQo. Q62 rainbow flop. Min. raiser bets like a third of the pot. I pop it. Get a call from LP (scary!) and min. raiser. Turn is a jack and I have 2400 left into 8000 pot. I push and get called by both (!). River's another jack and they check it. 99 and QT. This is why I bluff online about as often as Elton John makes out with women. Oh, and I tripled up to better than par. So thanks, tablemates for not recognizing the guy who hasn't played a hand since the Ford Administration was betting hard there. Surely, I must be bluffing.

So who was the winner of the Worst Performance of NFL Week 1? The Bucs? Drew Bledsoe? Caught the tail end of the Drew Bledsoe Experience and I've seen more lively deers staring down four-wheelers.

Guess my table image finally hit folks, since all three limpers and blinds folded to my AA button raise. I'll drink to that. The two words are not "Pocket Aces" by the way.

Gah. Folded the best hand pre-flop. In my defense, a push and a re-push made my 8s less than sexy. It was also the best hand after the river.

F-Train had a reasonable point the other day. It is my personal opinion, one that is not backed by gold or a posse who will seek out dissenters, that poker instruction has reached a saturation point. I still stumble across interesting hands or thought processes, but those are mostly by accident, because I will skim--at best--a poker post on a poker blog. It's nothing personal. It has simply reached a point where I don't find a large percentage of poker-related tales to be interesting. I used to. I used to eat 'em up like Skittles. I suppose it's a been there, done that thing, but I do not, in any way, feel like I am "above" that sort of thing. The drivel contained herein is in no way better than other people's expressions of their own play or thoughts. It's simply that the subject matter no longer appeals to me, which goes for the writing, too.

That said, if doubleas or Sound of a Suckout have strategery posts, we'd be fools not to read. For the MTT specialists, you have Ryan and Hoyazo. No, I don't actually read Hoy, but that's only because there are not enough hours in the day. Do you sleep, dude?

I might pass out or bust any second, so the two words are...


I'm the Chargers covering the 3 away tomorrow from hitting a four-game parlay. They should really win by more than that, the Black Hole on a Monday Night notwithstanding. Speaking of things in Oakland that are terrifying, how 'bout the A's having a team ERA of roughly 72.00 since the start of September. That they are 5-4 is a miracle and that miracle's name is Frank Thomas. Unbelievable. His OPS is nearly 1.000 since The Break (I'm not looking up the exact number, but it's close) and even higher than that in the last 10 days. Homered in five straight and 7 of 9. The A's have crashed the last two Septembers and have lost two games to the Angels in 10 days. That really isn't too bad, but the precedent has been set and even the most optimistic A's fan...okay, let me rephrase that..even the most optimistic A's fan with functional brain activity has to be feeling pretty squimish at this point. They got their lead on pitching and defense and both have been horrid lately. Meanwhile, the Halos are throwing up zeros all over the place, though I must say today all their pitchers had to do was get it to the catcher in the air for it to be a strike. When Troy Glaus gets tossed for arguing balls and strikes, you know it's bad. I've been impressed with Jared Weaver and all, but I have a hard time believing EVERY pitch he throws is on the black at the knees.

So, six games up in the loss column with 20 to play (19 for Angels), including 7 head-to-head in the last two weeks. Somebody hold me.

And I just busted. Lost a race to Big Slick, thought "lost" isn't the best way to say it since the flop was AKK. I feel like Jon Gruden.




At 8:19 AM, Blogger BadBlood said...

Is there anything on TV on Sunday night?

E!'s "Girls Next Door"

At 8:22 AM, Blogger Daddy said...

"Rimjob, Sir?"

At 10:18 AM, Blogger Huge Junk said...

I had "Live Parlay" so we're in the same ballpark there. speaking of which...

I have one live ticket from the 12 or so parlays I carefully selected. (fucking packers, broncos, titans) And now I'm a huge Vikings fan for the night.

At 1:25 PM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

Notch 3 losses onto the A's totals for after the break Speaker.

That's ten dollars made out to "Drizztdj" at

That is if Silva can keep the homerun total under 6.

I struck out on my NFL parlays for the weekend BOOOOOOOO!

At 2:37 PM, Blogger Donkeypuncher said...

parlays are for pussies.

At 7:14 PM, Blogger iamhoff said...

"I'm Drunk"

Nice to see that you survived the summer and that things are on an even keel. The Bolts start it up in just a few minutes...good on ya for picking 'em!


Post a Comment

<< Home