Friday, June 30, 2006

Quotes of the Day

"Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win."
--Gary Lineker

Fucking Germans.

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I've been late to the "Prepare for Milwaukee" party and have spent the last few hours trying to come up with a bounty for the WPBT. Last summer, Scurvy was the proud recipient of my bust-out prize, my favorite novel, "Homeboy", which he, being a man of taste and honor, devoured quickly and summarized perfectly,

"...completely fucking blown away by the raw energy and life someone pumped into desperate, printed words.

Last December, it was Dr. Jeff who provided the coup de grace--though, truthfully, it was F-Train who crippled me one hand prior--and his prize was a DVD of the exceptionally hilarious R. Kelly joint, "Trapped in the Closet." So, you see, my range is wide. Which might be the problem. Poker-specific stuff is nice, but boring. It's a little late to design my own t-shirt, not that I'm funny in a t-shirt designing way or at all capable of artistic endeavor. Maybe facial care products. Got lots of those laying around.

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I jinxed myself with that screen capture from last night. Moments after I took it, I doubled up G-Rob, whose SMTL was vastly superior to my Tourist. Shortly after that, I gifted him another buy-in when he sucked out on my Hammer with K5s, thus giving him the opportunity to type a phrase in chat, one he's been itching to use for seven months,

"This Big Blind brought to you by Joe Speaker."

Ten, maybe 15, people know why that's funny. But it's REALLY, REALLY funny. Anyway, regardless of my chip clearance sale, the title of the last post remains true. I was far too drunk to play (oh really, Captain Obvious?) and far too stupid to be playing with G-Rob, who has a bigger range than Wyoming. You know, if he's the aggressor on the turn on a ragged board, you're screwed. I remembered that this morning, about 6 hours too late.

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I'm on a run of about 10 straight hundred-degree days in my posh desert dwelling. I rarely use the A/C, because, well, my ancestors lived in caves. It's genetic. I've discovered that drinking Hefeweitzen on hot summer nights is a fine way to cool off, but man am I hurting today. I'm mulling trying something new, like instead of drinking 12 beers per evening, I'll just put 'em in my pants to ward off the swelter.

And you wonder why I rarely have visitors.

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Have a great holiday weekend all. Don't getcher hands blown off or anything.

3 Comments:

At 1:16 PM, Blogger April said...

I know why it's funny! Sorry I missed G-Rob's comeback. We're going to have to find ourselves a new source for big blinds this trip.

 
At 3:35 PM, Blogger Daddy said...

Mmmm...Hefe.

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger Maigrey said...

yellow NEVER wins!!

 

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