DPAW

I missed DrPauly Appreciation Weekend. I tried to contribute something, but was of such a mind where creativity and positivity was impossible. Though I loathe being late for anything, I'll make an exception here. Thanks to my taking a Mental Health Day off from work and a full slate of MTTs, I give you my live blogging of the $4.5K on Full Tilt. I could stand to get out of my own head for a while and I can think of no better reason than to appreciate Pauly, who has been such a huge benefactor of my writing.

8:20 a.m.: Forty minutes to post. A HUGE overlay currently.

8:21: I feel a little disengeuous about the whole hiatus thing. I have rarely shied away from personal matters here, partly because I have no shame, but mostly because that's how I envisioned this forum when I began. I'm an open book in the most trying of times, but presently, circumstances are a little too rough, emotions a little too raw to air them here. It will all come out in the end, I'm sure, but right now I'm not on solid enough ground to tell it. If I felt it would help--me or anybody else--I'd not hesitate to relate the details. But conditions are currently so tenuous, so fluid, that everything I put down--and trust me, there's been plenty--is jumbled and illogical and overly emotional and of no assistance to anyone, though it may be in the future. The pain I'm feeling colors every waking thought. I sometimes feel like my body just might wad up and blow away, so flimsy is my hold on the life I cherish. I do know one thing, though. Make it two. I know I will do everything in my power to fix it and that, regardless of the outcome, I will be a better man for the experience. And c) things always look--and feel--better in the light of day than they do at 5 a.m. when you've been up all night twitching and groaning and generally feeling like someone's squeezing your insides with a garlic press. And IV, I have awesome friends.

8:38: Is it too early to start drinking?

8:41: From the Breaking News Dept.: Ryan cashed again at the LAPC. And water is wet.

8:44: Here's a recent event I can relate that put me on massive tilt. Twice in the past 10 days, I was awakened by an early morning phone call by what I presume was a collection agency. The first time, I stated that nobody of that name lived here. I repeated it the second time, but the collector was a little more persistent and the tumblers clicked into place. I didn't recognize the name because they were pronouncing it wrong, making it would like a female Caucasian rather than a French Canadian male. The calls were for the second (and now ex-) husband of my ex-wife. I was somehow listed on the account as a "relative." I don't know how or why since the wily $8-an-hour refused to divulge any further information in this "legal matter." My attempts to contact my ex-wife were futile; the two-year-old phone number I dug up is disconnected. I did check my credit report and found nothing out of the ordinary. For now.

8:50: The more I think about it, I decree it's NOT too early to start drinking. I'm still gonna resist, but the rest of you can feel free.

8:53: One of the problems I had writing my novel (still in progress) was not being able to connect with the protagonist at times, usually the ones where he was going though a difficult period in the story. That has not been a problem lately. The dear and patient wife was mighty pissed I shut down the blog, as she is as big a supporter of my writing as any, until I assured her I banged out about 10K words in the novel without even breaking a sweat. Misery is my creative co-pilot.

8:57:: My game has been teh suck lately. For one, I haven't played hardly at all. When I have played, I've been so card dead as to be comatose. I haven't been able to find the right spots for aggression and tight-weak is no way to go through life, son. I'm tight in the best of times, but you need to show some marginal hands to get action and I haven't even been able to get those. I somehow made it into the third hour of the $16K on Sunday night despite having just a single pocket pair the entire time (and it was 33). I went 1-3 in races, sucked out once and ultimately trapped an overly-aggressive AKo into putting all his chips in on the turn with only 8 outs. Yes, he caught one. I would have been above par for the first time all night. I will now transfer everyone a dollar.

8:59: Good news: Gisele Budchen is on my TV. Bad news: So is Jimmy Fallon.

9:00: Cards in the virtual air. 204 runners. $4896 prize pool. 27 paid. No overlay.

9:00: Rabbits.

9:01: I fold 76o UTG. Good fold.

9:03: Time for some Arena Rock. First up, Tesla.

9:06: It bears mentioning I'm working on zero hours sleep. Zero minutes, too. It also bears mentioning that people who call off their tournament in Level One with second pair-queen kicker amuse me. Moreso when they call it off to me, which was not the case here.

9:09: One orbit in the books. I remain nothing but a spectator. Two bust-outs already at my table.

9:10: Button open-raise with A8o is met with resistance from the ultra-aggressive SB, who min. raises and the BB who makes it 450 to go. I fold. Ace flops and BB finally lets go of his big pocket pair on the river. I don't get to see SB's kicker.

9:13: Guy on my immediate left calls a lot of pre-flop raises and is not shy about betting big out of position. Definite trap possibilities. You know, like the one the guy on my right just ran on him.

9:17: AJo (gold!) gets the blinds.

9:19: Guy on my left will lay down a hand if you bet into him. He min. raised from UTG and I called with A4s. I bet out on KT2 flop and took it down.

9:25: It's official: Poker hates me. Big Slick on a Kxx flop and KJ--who called pre-flop raise out of position--check-pushes. J on the river. T305.

9:27: AJo (gold!) gets blinds.

9:30: Walk in the BB is appreciated. T380. I've been in worse shape than this before. I don't even think I need the Angry Monkey yet.

9:34: The pocket pair drought shows no signs of abating, though I have had hands to play today, so that's something.

9:39: Comical. Free flop in the BB with Q7. Comes down AQ7 and all the money goes in. Up against AJ and AK. Five on the turn. Five on the river. IGHN.

9:40: Well, that wasn't quite what I had in mind when I wanted to get out of my head for a while as far as the brevity of the experience and two river suckouts. Though tilt is something I can manage quite well at present since, relatively speaking, it doesn't matter in the slightest. Anyway, there's my contribution. Thanks, Doc.