Seeing as I'm a week away from playing the $540 NLHE event at the L.A. Poker Classic (and planning some satellite action for other events) and considering this has been a goal of mine since LAST year when I attended the event slash AlCantHang Traveling Road Show slash Experience, I should be in a pumped up poker frame of mind.
I don't mean to worry the good folks who have purchased my various body parts, but I'm not. Couldn't be further. I'm trying to locate my gumption, but, at present, it's gone missing.
I played the $69+6 on Full Tilt last night, which is not one of my regular stops on the online tourney circuit, but I felt like I needed something different to try to shake me from my malaise. I find that when I bump up the buy-in from my standard level, I tend to concentrate a little more. It worked. Sorta. I found my proper level of aggression, jamming big raises into multi-limper pots with TT twice and coming out of it unscathed and with chips. I position re-raised a passive guy to win a small pile and my stack was above par at 4K when the first hour ended. I then succumbed to what has been my MAIN problem: Card Dead Tilt. After being card dead for a half hour, I get a suited Big Slick and re-raise an early min. raiser. The guy two to my left, after a relatively long pause, pushes in his last 3500. Folds to me and I insta-call. Because I have Big Slick. Best hand I've seen in 5 orbits. Finally I get to see a flop. He's got Jacks or something and we're racin'. Gotta play here.
Of course, I would never push over the top of a raise and re-raise with anything less than KK. And had I stopped to ponder that question, rather than be blinded by my (relatively) shiny two cards, I could have--and likely would have--folded, still had an M above 12 and not had his Rockets put me down to the felt.
The next part, I'm not so sure about. Because I wasn't pissed. I knew I played it poorly, which usually sets me mumbling and pacing for a few minutes. Last night, nothing. Is that growth? Acceptance, learn and move on? Or is it apathy?
I was pretty happy with how I'd been playing (with a couple exceptions) before leaving for St. Louis. My results weren't at all that stellar, but my decisions were rock solid. Then I came back and found a lot of non-poker shit in disarray, shit that makes the game seem worthless in the grand scheme of things. I've tried to compartmentalize, push the rest of the stuff out of my brain when I'm playing. While I've been moderately successful at that, I can't push it out the rest of the time and have therefore not had a chance to ponder my game away from the table, something I try to do as often as possible (you know, like in the blog). But, right now,it's just not as important.
Which is okay. The timing just blows.
The LAPC starts tonight and at least two of Murderer's Row's finest will be playing the $330 NLHE event. Head on over and offer your best wishes to change100 and Ryan.
Also, CJ's headed to Tunica to win that event.
You know what, typing all that DOES get me a little fired up. I think I need to go to Commerce this weekend and soak up some atmosphere. That might be the way to go.