A Hero Returns

No, not me. See bottom.

I'm back. No big pronouncement. No news. Hell, no optimism. But I'm back. Because I miss being here and if everything comes out a little cynical right now--as much as I hate that--so be it.

First, group hug. My sincere appreciation to all of you who reached out--both poker friends and non. Even more to those whom I burdened with my issues, ruining large chunks of their weekend evenings being forced to listen to my drivel. I'm grateful for your insight and lucky for your support. And if you can find a slot in your nightly prayers for me, I'll be indebted.

No, I'm not dead or dying. Though it sometimes feels like it.

Anyway, enough.

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I played the $540 NLHE event last Thursday at Commerce. It was an uneventful three and a half hours during which I folded garbage hand after garbage hand and saw all of five flops. One flop I didn't see was when I held my only pocket pair of the evening, JJ, one off the button. I simply called with a raise and call in front of me, watched the button also call (sheesh) and the SB move all-in. The SB was not short, nor was he a tourist (is there a better poker word than "tourist" right now? No, there isn't). He was a good solid player who doesn't make a position steal on FOUR players. We all laid our hands down (AQs, AKo) according to the two who acted in front of me and a QQ for the SB (button preferred to remain mysterious). I showed my JJ before mucking to the guy on my right, a genial older gentleman. After the hand, he responded, "Very good control. You are not like these other kids with their push push push." I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm 38.

A few orbits later, he folded his AQs face up in the BB to my UTG raise with...uh...AJo. He said, "Anyone else, I play ace-queen there." So, I guess you could say I kinda had a table image. Folding 29 of every 30 hands pre-flop will do that for ya.

I am a little annoyed on the hand I went out on, because I will not normally play AQs that hard, but chip counts and escalating blinds dictated I make a move. I coulda done so on a hand where I could have been first in the pot however. Pushing over the top of KK? Not so much.

So, apologies to all my backers, but I did what I could with what I was dealt. And no matter what anyone tells you, I DID NOT chop a single-table satellite prior to the MTT to come out ahead for the day. Didn't happen, nor did the several pocket pairs I got at that table while I was, you know, theoretically, trying to find a rhythm for the tourney. You know what? Forget I said anything.

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There WAS some good news on Friday, which I celebrated by pulling on my Liverpool jersey, working on my touchline-sniffing goal celebrations and, finally, rubbing one out to the following photo while "You'll Never Walk Alone" played quietly in the background.

ChristopherFurlong/GettyImages

No, I'm not ashamed.

He's the King of the Kop
He's the best of the lot
Robbie Fowler