Friday, September 16, 2005

Parting Shots

Phishing scams, Nigerian billionaires who need help transferring money, pyramid schemes. Not one of these is a bigger shake-down than the fact I have to pay half of AJ’s pre-school tuition next week even though he won’t be there because of our vacation. The fee, I am told, is to “hold his spot.” Would someone care to enlighten as to exactly What. The. Fuck. that is supposed to mean? Like, a kid doesn’t show up one day and they start auctioning off his finger paintings? Thieves.

I believe I’ve reached a new level of maturity now that I don’t consider "Just chillin’, bro" to be a valid response to "How are you?"

But I’m still hip with the kids, apparently. Of the three books mentioned by Seth last night on The O.C., I’ve read two of them in the last four months.

Was very happy to have Survivor back on last night. Even though it is the catalyst for horrible reality shows across the dial, it really is compelling TV more often than not. The return of Stephanie is cool, too. Twenty bucks says CJ pitched a tent.

Though Jeff Probst has to be the least talented, most smug jackass on television. Okay, I’ll give you Trebek, too.

This little family road trip promises to be the first test of father-son travel relations. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" I bought a taser to keep things under control.

I’m taking Barry Greenstein’s book, "Ace on the River" and Harrington Vol. II with me. I started the former. Have you seen this thing? It’s almost a coffee table book. Big and glossy and lush.

I’m feeling pretty damn good about myself after my NFL showing last week, so I thought I’d post my Best Bets for the weekend. I’m totally in the dark on the college game at this point of the year, so we’ll skip right to the pros.

Tampa Bay –2.5 over Buffalo
I like the Bucs ‘D’ against young Losman and Cadillac v. MaGahee is a push.

Detroit –1.5 over Chicago
I’m sticking with the Lions until they lose. Or until they play a team that is capable of winning 4 games this year.

New Orleans +3 over NY Giants
The Saints are my new favorite team.

And the Run, Don’t Walk, Lock of the Week™

Kansas City – 1.5 over Oakland
Green, Holmes, Johnson and Co. will have those aging Rai-duh defenders sucking wind by midway through the third quarter.


I may be able to blog/post picures sporadically from the road. If not, see y'all when I return. Good cards, love thy neighbor as thyself and, most importantly, let's be careful out there.


At 11:25 AM, Blogger CJ said...

First, I think I'm going to begin stalking Stephanie.

Second, here's a CONTROVERSIAL blog about Payday Loans written by JACKASSES.

Check it out... if you dare!!

At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Maudie said...

Universal answer to "Are we there yet?" - just keep answereing "Yes." 8^) Have fun.

At 1:04 PM, Blogger Huge Junk said...

I've already begun concocting a post about "Golden Joey" and his ability to win easily in Vegas.

For now though, I'm scurrying to find a pencil for those picks.

Have fun!

At 6:49 PM, Blogger PapaCool said...

Here's for America's Team in 2005 - the Saints! No more Ain'ts...

At 11:12 PM, Blogger Easycure said...

I think Oakland is the real deal.


At 7:36 AM, Blogger TripJax said...

uh oh, apparently i'm gonna have to update my response to "how are you?" thanks for the enlightenment.

btw, our pre-school/daycare (whatever you call it) does the same shit. bastardos.

At 1:33 PM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

Portable DVD player = GOLD!

Trust me on this.

Have fun on your trip man.


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