In England, It's Spelled "Labour"

I'm paraphrasing here:

April: So you're taking our money and going home?
Me: It's all going to Charity.
April: Is that a stripper?

I got home Friday night utterly exhausted. Three hours of sleep, some of it on a train, dinner with the extended family and all I could think was to get into bed. But first, I had to set my fantasy baseball lineup for the next day--I was fighting for the final playoff spot, which I did not get. Lo and behold, a star-studded chat conference/micro-limit NL game was in full swing.

Suddenly, I found a second wind.

Playing with bloggers is always a fun poker session. Quadrupling up in 20 minutes is even better. Let this be a lesson to you all, I WILL play suited one-gappers to a pre-flop raise and I will chase until the chasin's done, which is really the only way to chip up against superior players. Be the Lemur. Yes, I won this hand, too.

I could have played all night, but I caught the Evil Eye, of the wife variety, about an hour in and reluctantly, though wealthily, ditched the game and headed to bed.

And I really did use the bulk of my profits to sign up for the first two Charity Events on Stars.

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Woke up after 9 solid hours of sleep still feeling the effects of my varying sleep patterns. I am an old, old man. Played a $30 2-table SnG while watching my adopted homeland of Sweden crush Bulgaria 3-0 in a World Cup qualifier. I bubbled.

Did some house cleaning in preparation for guests on Monday, took The Boy to the park and watched my A's lose by a touchdown to the stupid Yanks.

Food for thought: When the A's were screwing the pooch in May, I was piling up mounds of cash in online poker. When the A's went nuts in the summer months, I was getting cornholed by Variance. Now that they're sucking again in September, I scored a Final Table payday. My two passions are linked, yin-yang style. So, while they likely won't be going to the playoffs--largely because of crushing injury problems--I might get rich again.

ANYWAY, I was well into my holiday weekend and still had yet to have a drink. Midway through the desultory first half of the US-Mexico, my fortunes changed.

I had already deposited AJ at Grandma's for the evening, so I was home alone. Now, the experts will say drinking alone is a sign of an alcohol problem. But what if you're drinking with others via cell phone? Yes kids, it was Dial-a-Shot time. On the other end of the line was the Michigan Mafia. Our liquor cabinet was a little thin, but there was some Canadian Club whiskey on hand and we drank to "unbridled jingoism." Seriously, I hate Mexico. Not the people, definitely not the country, but their futbol team. Buncha cocksuckers.

Los Estados Unidos 2, Mexico 0

The result qualfies the US for Germany 2006. Hug your local soccer MILF. By the end of the contest, I was working on a nice giddy drunk, chasing the whiskey shot with some Bass Ale. And after the traditional post-game Dial-a-Shot, I was in that rarified level of happiest drunk imaginable, a place my wife describes as me being "soft." Not a euphemism, jerks.

Shortly, I took my giddy drunk--and my wife--to the local Cineplex for a viewing of the immortal screen classic "Wedding Crashers." Good film to see with five drinks in ya.

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Spent most of Sunday afternoon poolside at my sister's house. Prepared for the shindig by drinking a few post-breakfast beers and sweating Nerd in the WCOOP Event (congrats on the Monday cash, dude!).

I figured I was due for a post-alcohol/sun/cholrine crash upon arriving back home, but gosh darn if the Crazy Re-Buy wasn't starting forthwith. Armed with a fresh half-rack of Tecate, I dove right in.

I don't know what it is, whether it was my brief break, my more sporadic play, the successful Thursday tourney, but I'm back on comfortable ground. I played really well into the fourth hour when I ran into some bad luck.

First in on the button, I made a too large raise (6x) with AKo. I say "too large" because I did it on purpose. I want the blinds to read straight steal and call or raise. It worked. SB pushed (he had me covered) and BB called (he was short stack). Dang. I had to do some math. Certainly the BB has a strong hand. The SB, I can put him on a wider range. So, if I'm behind the BB, can I make enough money off the Big Stack to make a call worthwhile? The answer was yes. Unless the SB had AK as well. Which he did. BB had TT and they held up.

I was down to 20K with blinds at 1500/3000. I shortly got KK and pushed over the top of a raiser to get his money and the blinds. That was helpful. Back on the button I got AKo--deja vu--and pushed over the top of an MP raiser. Folds to him and his time bank starts to tick...

I had played with this particular player for much of the first two hours. He sucks. I was begging for a call, knowing I had him. I got my wish. He called with A8o. Ace-fucking-Eight.

Eight-high flop and no help for me. Crush.

Went out 60 from the money. Anger, yes. But no whining. I'll play that guy every day from now until the end of time. I love him. I love his kind.

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Might be going to Vegas this weekend. Gotta find some random homeless person to look after The Boy and I'm in. Apparently some sort of mini-convention of WSOP participants going on.