Monday Power Rankings

5. My Mother gets the bottom slot this week for insisting upon smoking a gajillion cigarettes in my presence over the last couple days. Thanks, Mom.

4. Me. Because I suck. And because I post hand histories and later totally regret baring my heat-of-the-moment anger and depression in public, coming of as a whiny little bitch. But, I have to leave it up, for historical purposes. Would rank lower except for the fact I do keep getting my money in while ahead (well, most of the time) and that I am now a week smoke-free, the latter both a positive and negative. While I'm reasonably proud to have made it this far, I am also capable of murder. Don't push me.

3. The Dear and Patient Wife has been both in tremendous measure this week, dealing with my mood swings and making things easier on me.

2. AJ for his hilarious and nearly constant repeating of the "I'll get her two tickets to The Gun Show" joke from "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy," complete with emphatic kissing of the biceps.

1. The Oakland A's. Wow drizz. I think the French might put up a better Wild Card fight than the Twins. You're next, Angels.

One last A's note, a quote from Manager Ken Macha:

Everybody was a dumbass in May, and now everybody's a genius."

No Ken, you're still a dumbass.