Monday, August 03, 2009

Don't Forget to Read

Yesterday was AJ's 8th birthday. I got him a skateboard, which, in turn, got me a higher health insurance premium, less for potential injuries to him, than for the anxiety it's sure to cause me when he starts doing Ollies and Indys.

I got you something, too. The resurrection of Don't Forget to Flush.

You may not have noticed my TGOD about that precocious son of mine (and my struggles against certain douchebags) went away. That's okay! It's still a gift. Wrap yourself well.

Offsprung is back under new management and I was asked to contribute more tales of AJ, both the ridiculous and sublime. My first post won't appear until Friday (we're having a staggered start), and it's a re-working of something you have read here, but there are a dozen entertaining voices over there, including some new columns that will focus on movies, step families and pop culture for the kiddies. As always, The Playground is a great clearinghouse for parental information, support and occasional tomfoolery.

I want me. You don't want the rest of that stuff. Fine. Here's a recent account that can tide you over 'til Friday.

AJ plays very patiently and nicely with his 5-year-old cousin, even though she's a little girl in every sense and her mother and I never got along that well growing up. He'll deal with an hour of playing with dolls and she'll reciprocate with some baseball or running around in the backyard. Except all that outdoor rough-housing invariably causes an injury, real or imagined. My mother, of course, can't resist administering compassion, along with band-aids. Lots of band-aids. Last weekend, she was eventually sporting half-a-dozen.

Sometime later, AJ and his cousin were jockeying for water at the refrigerator and she banged her knee on the door. "Ow!" she said.

AJ, lacking the compassion as his grandmother, a humanistic void apparently filled with snark, instantly asked,

"Would you like another band-aid, Princess?"

And scene.


At 1:22 PM, Blogger The Bracelet said...

Your third paragraph made me so happy I peed myself a little.

At 4:05 PM, Anonymous Gunslinger said...

Definitely missed DFTF. It'll be great to have it back.

At 10:16 AM, Blogger -Greg said...

This is pure win.

At 1:47 PM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

I have kept the Band-Aid corporation in the black for the past year solely on buying boxes of Dora the Explorer styled band-aids at Target (10% discount bitches!).

At 3:32 AM, Blogger Claudia said...

Hi, i have a few spanish, english and italian poker sites. If you are interested in exchanging links or renting advertising space please let me know.



At 10:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ours is an envionment where evil is perceived to be rewarded while good is punished. As with everything the Gods have a reason for creating this perception::::
People who fall on the good side of the good/evil scale have more favor, and when they do something wrong the Gods punish them BECAUSE THEY WANT THEM TO LEARN. The Gods want them to receive this feedback in hope they make corrections and begin to behave appropriately. The Gods DON'T like evil and refuse to grant this feedback.
EVERYBODY pays for what they do wrong, only evil people must wait until their next life before they will experience the wrath of the Gods, manifested in their reincarnation as a lower form of life into environments with increased/enhanced temptations.
Sadly, this allows the Gods to position this perception of evil rewarded as temptation, one which they use as an EXTREMELY effective corruptor.

Both Africa and the Medittereanean are regions which have sexual issues. This is a sign of morbid disfavor once you understand that females are the God's favored gender. Muhammad's (Mohammed's) polygamy halfway through his life as a prophet was preditory. Now a huge percentage of Muslims believes in male superiority and that the abuse of women is God's will. Female genital mutilation is still practiced in Africa. Black misogyny is the most eggregious example in the recent past.
Black member size is temptation to a predisposed population.
The patriarchal cancer spread throughout Europe because of Christianity, of which the majority of policy makers were Italian men. Expect the largest landowner in Europe and the continent's original superpower also played a major role in African slavery.

Militancy in Africa is consistant with the Iraqi example, as was slavery and the KKK here in America:::Fear enforces proper behavior. Without it we see what happens as a result of gross/morbid disfavor:::::AIDS, crack babies, dead young men in gangland retaliation killings. This is the purpose behind many black's historical tendancy towards resistance.
The same principle was true in Europe and throughout the world for centuries:::People whom lived under iron fists were conditioned to think the right way. As a result they experienced higher numbers of children accend into heaven because they were taught to think and behave appropriately, which they passed on to their children. Our preditory envionment of "freedom" was the primary purpose the Gods had when implimenting this strategy that is the United States, one which they used to spred the cancer of democracy and westernization throughout the world. And the Gods use this tool that is America to prey on the disfavored both at home and abroad:::Much like the ghetto, America in general experiences a heightened level of temptation due to the people's disfavor.

Even the Old Testiment is not to be taken literally, but the Gods do offer clues throughout to help the disfavored:::The apple is a tool of temptation used to corrupt Adam and Eve and cast them out of the Garden of Eden.
There is another lesson to be learned from this passage, and it is quite similar to the vailing issue and the discourse over women's attire which ultimately died in the 70s:::Women are responsible for and control the fate of mankind.

Think about what I say. Consider what I teach. Society is going to become disturbingly ugly as we approach the Apocalypse due to spiralling, runaway disfavor.
I do not know when this will occurr, but it is the God's way to grant some time before they end on Planet Earth.
Make the decision to always be good and never look back. Until you do this technology will employ tactics to test your resolve:::Ridicule, beligerance, doubt and refusal to abandon what people perceive to be their "investment".
Pray daily. Think appropriately. Too many are confident, unaware of the God's awesome powers or their status as antients. Others may fall prey to their positioning.
Be humbled, God-fearing and beware of the God's temptations, for everyone is tested to evaluate their worthiness.
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