Sunday, May 06, 2007

Premature Linkination

After intense meetings with marketers, programmers and a homeless guy named Terry, I am sorry to report my little corner of Offsprung will be undergoing some changes, including the url, before going completely "live."

Be assured I will update you all at the coming out party.

But, in the meantime, please check out the rest of the writers on there. They're hilarious.

The official press release:

Once upon a time, there were no websites for parents. That made parents very sad. Their lives felt lonely and meaningless, and they were forced to seek advice from unqualified strangers, and even their own relatives. But then, starting in 2004, a certain class of people began to fuck with purpose. Soon, thousands, perhaps millions of kids were born to tech-saavy parents with money to burn! Prophets predicted a great baazar. The Internet responded.

So, then, Offsprung, the perfect online antidote to a parenting culture gone mad. We feature the sharpest, funniest writers on the Internet, each one eviscerating, or at least challenging, a different excess of that culture. Here are some of them now:

–Matthew Tobey brings us The Cleaver, the final word on the absurd and semi-evil world of celebrity parenting hype.

–Christopher Monks has created Dadsmacker, the first-ever blog totally devoted to taking on the pretensions of “hipster” parenting, a ridiculous movement that no one on this site has been involved with in the slightest.

–Amanda Marcotte, the scourge of Catholicism, brings you Unsprung, which should make Christian right “pro-family” moralists shake in their hypocrisy suits.

–Amy Davis keeps the shark from jumping on Huxtabled, serving as our primary tastemaker in the world of video-based children’s entertainment.

–Leigh Anne Wilson, operator of the Honeysuckle Shop, a well-regarded online sex-toys establishment, writes all about matters orgasmic in Lock The Bedroom Door.

–Dara Grumdahl, a James Beard award-winning food writer, puts the American diet to shame with Defamisher,.

–Alternadad* Neal Pollack will dispense parenting advice with the help of his trusty Silver Surfer.

And they are just the tip of a thick, brilliant iceberg of talent. Over the next few weeks, Offsprung will launch nearly 20 blogs, all of them hilarious and incisive. And we’ll be bringing you so many other features. You’re not going to believe what hit you, people. Soon, it will be hard to imagine your lives without Offsprung.

So come on in. The water’s pretty warm and the surf is perfect for boogie boarding. There’s room for thousands more.

Welcome to Offsprung.

*A licensed trademark of something or other.


At 9:01 AM, Blogger Donkeypuncher said...

Congrats dude! Gonna share with my peeps ASAP.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger KajaPoker said...

That's a pretty cool site. I couldn't find your page anywhere though (except for the direct link) and couldn't leave a comment either.

At 12:46 PM, Blogger Wheezy said...

So my witty comments are just gone? Just like that?

I declare Shenanigans!

At 1:47 PM, Blogger Betty Underground said...

Clearly they had not adequately prepared for the massive traffic they would get when your readership caught wind of the new gig!

At 7:03 AM, Anonymous Maudie said...

Awesome! Congrats!


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