Monday, May 15, 2006

Nut Cancer by Proxy

That is what I wish on the "douchebags who can't handle the word 'douchebag,'" who have effectively silenced one of the most engaging, literate, trouser-filling voices on teh Intarweb.

Yes, Bobby Bracelet has been Dooced. Or, more precisely, his blog has been Dooced by balding, grim-faced Centurions guarding their self-appointed Gate of Appropriateness.

In the short time I've known Bob, I have come to regard his Totally Gay Online Diary musings as the cyber equivalent of "Howl," epic and grand in scope, a depot of universal poignancy and a dependable space where all manner of douchebaggery was hunted and exposed. We are all poorer today, less our true selves and more like the retarded kids Bob always makes fun of. Yes, I can say "retarded." I can also say "spaz" and "hyper." And yes, the ultra-sensitive culture of ours will rise up in horror at my use of such words and they will further excise voices from the marketplace of ideas because they don't CONFORM or are not synergetic with the idea that we can NEVER hurt anybody's feelings in the world, because if you do that, they will grow up to be a bad person, a MURDERER maybe, because we have invalidated their opinion, we have not respected their word, we have not coddled them to our collective breasts and told them it's okay if they can't fucking add or subtract, so instead we tell them they have VALUE, the idea being that only though NICENESS and soft, velvety caress can we build productive members of society, which means we are simply LYING to them, by not telling them they are WRONG or stupid or hygenically-deficient, but by ENCOURAGING them to continue along their oblivious path so they can, one day, grow up to be Bob's asshole fucking bosses.

12 Comments:

At 4:05 PM, Blogger Doog said...

168 words in one sentence. Damn impressive.

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Huge Junk said...

IN YOUR FACE DOUCHEBAGS!!!

You are truly the Matt Damon to my Ben Affleck. How do you like THEM apples, Douchebags?!?

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger FatBaldGuy said...

Some people will never stop until we all follow their stupid rules. Bobby is a champion in the fight against that particular type of douchebaggery, and so are you. So should we all be.

 
At 6:38 PM, Blogger Easycure said...

I gotta say this is a sad day in America.

FUCK YOU to whoever is responsible.

Note to Bobby Bracelet - you can flaunt your junk on my blog anytime you want. Give me the word and the keys to Easycure's kingdom are yours.

 
At 7:06 AM, Blogger Meek said...

So Bobby B's work bosses made him take it down?

We need to start a HighOnPoker for those who have been forced to stop their blogs because of family/work/etc pressures. They can be known as blogger A and blogger B.

 
At 8:12 AM, Blogger StB said...

I wonder if BB will be allowed to guest blog? He would definately be given space at many sites.

Is he allowed to comment?

Of course a real man would have quit that job.

 
At 8:18 AM, Blogger elizabeth said...

so completely fucking stupid...i am so sick of everyone's oversensitive, pc, don't-hurt-anyone's-feelings crap that censors people who actually have something to say.

dammit, i had really just recently discovered the douchebaggery. now what am i suppposed to do?

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

das uberghey!

FIGHT THE POWER BOBBY B!

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger G-Rob said...

"Give me the word and the keys to Easycure's kingdom are yours."

This made my spine shivver just a bit.


But, to the point, douchebaggery blows..

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger iamhoff said...

Large quantities of un-bueno. I'm calling bullshit on evil bosses. Douchebags douchebags douchebags!!!

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger HighOnPoker said...

Meek: "We need to start a HighOnPoker for those who have been forced to stop their blogs because of family/work/etc pressures. They can be known as blogger A and blogger B."

Did I just become a noun unto myself? What a meeking surprise!

 
At 7:46 AM, Blogger GoBucksIndy said...

I'm a confused idiot. Can someone please explain why thrice confirmed had to take down his blog? I could understand that they bar him from looking at it at work, but why would he have to take it down completely? Story please.

 

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