Monday, May 01, 2006

Embrace the Ellipses

I'm happy to report that I have a metric ass-ton of content. Sadly, I've not the time to write it. I'll go Larry King-style on ya, though, for a few of them (I should say Allan Malamud-style, but none of you know who that is. Dot. Dot. Dot).

I have two rules in life:

1. Never go broke with TPTK in a $200+16 buy-in tournament
2. Never ride in a truck with Steve Howe

I violated the first in the $200K Guarantee on Sunday. AJ was not gold. A set of 8s was, though...

I have REALLY wanted to weigh in on the immigration protests/legislation/profound mis-information fest out there as I am intimate with the issue, having emigrated a couple of wives in my life, one of them Mexican. It's not a civil rights issue. It's an economic issue. And you crazy kids with your Mexican flags and jamming up cities and new National Anthem lyrics are hurting your cause more than you could ever imagine. My plan, simply put, is the gainfully employed can stay. Just prove how long you've had a job, pay all your back income taxes, money which we use to build a much better barrier, hire more officers, updated equipment, all those things that might actually SOLVE the problem of illegal immigration. If that fails, might I suggest sharks with frickin lasers on their heads be put in the Rio Grande...

I bubbled in the WPBT Stud event last night. Out in 9th; 8 paid. It's funny, because I played Stud long before I ever played Hold 'Em and about 20 minutes into the thing, I realized I kinda knew what I was doing. In fact, I began to take it so seriously that I went on massive tilt when lifesagrind caught on 6th to put me out (in light of recent events, I'd like to point out here that a) he had me out-chipped 7-1, so could afford to stay in and b) I boated up on 7th against him 20 miutes earlier to stay alive and therefore am not criticizing his play, his viewpoint on blogs, his ethnic background, political affiliation or penchant for wearing mesh stockings)...

Remember when I talked about how anal I am about finances? Scratch that. I bought a car on Saturday. I was window shopping and these dickheads gave me such a fantastic deal that there's no way I could turn it down. It was a little premature for me to buy, but goddamn if I didn't make out like a bandit. Being a research professional, when I bought my last car, I did a ton of preparation and one of the biggest tips I found was "Always buy a car at the end of the month." Sales quotas are due and you have a bit of negotiation room. In this case, they had a big inventory of the car I was looking at. At least a dozen in the color and trim I wanted. And they were willing to move 'em. 6K off MSRP? Check. $1K over Kelley Blue Book for my trade-in? Check. 1.95% Financing? Check...

So, here's the deal. Knowing what you all know abou me, from our in-person interaction or simply through the pablum of this TGOD, what kind of car did I buy? Ten bucks to whomever gets it. Five bucks to the closest (make or class) if nobody does. It fits pretty well with my personality. No, there is not a car called the Hyundai Giddiot...

For my money, nuthin' beats Bailey's Irish Creme...If you see only one movie this summer, it should be "RV"...One of my most embarassing moments was soiling myself while interviewing Menachem Begin...That Barney Rubble. What an actor...

28 Comments:

At 9:20 AM, Blogger Chad said...

VW Golf.

 
At 9:22 AM, Blogger Roman said...

I'm boycotting pants today.


And I'm gonna say you bought an Eclipse. Because it's two letters away from ellipses.

 
At 9:29 AM, Blogger jjok said...

Ford Escape

 
At 9:30 AM, Blogger on_thg said...

Since I have no idea whatsoever, I'm going with a Mazda 6.

 
At 9:39 AM, Blogger obp1000 said...

Has to be a Mazda 6.

1.95% APR
$2000 Cash Rebate
Selling well below MSRP.

Congratulations, joe.

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger peacecorn said...

Oh! Oh! I know! I know!

 
At 10:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A hearse?

 
At 10:21 AM, Blogger Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

And you crazy kids with your Mexican flags and jamming up cities and new National Anthem lyrics are hurting your cause more than you could ever imagine. My plan, simply put, is the gainfully employed can stay.

Sure...good. But the whole National Anthem in Spanish was proposed by an English guy as a spoof. Stupid...who ever took this and started running with it. He wanted to see how far American's will run with this and they did. As for back taxes...cool, just as long as you let them get all the one's they lost over the years, too. Call it even.

As for the car....a convertable VW bug...with a flower in the little vase.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger CJ said...

It's clearly a 2006 Suzuki Forenza Station Wagon. Who doesn't want to be rollin' down the street in a sweet ride like that!

 
At 11:59 AM, Blogger BryGy said...

Given they had a bunch on the lot and offering wicked deals, I'd say it was a domestic. But with the title of the blog "Embrace the Ellipses", I am leaning towards Toyota. I can't see you being the big guzzling SUV kinda guy in SoCal, I'm pegging you with a mid size sedan or even maybe a sporty hatchback. Since you're also a man with style, what model you chose, it will undoubtedly be the high end trim package for whatever car you choose.

Final vote: Toyota Corolla XRS

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger iamhoff said...

I don't know your personal tastes all that well (besides the Mansion exploits), so based on the info you provided I'm going to guess 2006 Toyota Camry. The 2007s are out in force, and the dealers are pushing to get rid of the 06s. Speaking as another who just got a new ride, enjoy it! Can't wait to hear what you got.

 
At 12:19 PM, Blogger DrChako said...

2006 Solara - but only because Camry was already taken. I'm hoping you decided to splurge a little.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Fuel55 said...

As to going broke with TPTK, I refer you to The Dannenmann Sheet (version 1.3) post at fuel55.blogspot.com.

As to the car - Bentley Continental GT. Nothing less for you dude.

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

I'll just say the Infiniti G coupe, even though I don't think you'd get 1.95% financing on that badboy, but really just because I like the car. Whatever it is, congrats on your new purchase.

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger Chilly said...

A Miata, because the one in the window matched your shirt.

 
At 1:16 PM, Anonymous mookie99 said...

I would say Corvette, cause there are so many jokes that could be made...

but I will go with a VW Passat.

 
At 1:16 PM, Anonymous mookie99 said...

I would say Corvette, cause there are so many jokes that could be made...

but I will go with a VW Passat.

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger ToddCommish said...

Toyota pickup truck.

This way, I cleverly manage to get the Tacoma/Tundra pairing for my choice, similar to taking the Olsen twins in the Dead Pool.

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger TripJax said...

2006 VW GTI...

...White.

 
At 2:53 PM, Blogger Huge Junk said...

Alright, alright...

Single now so it has to be a little bit of a penis extender for the ladies. Got a kid and one less income though, so it isn't going to be really expensive. In LA and a metrosexual to boot, so it has to be somewhat trendy. (ie: cant be a Ford)

My guess is either an Audi A4 or an Acura RSK. You can send my $5 to BobRespert at FT.

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger Whatever said...

2007 Volvo S80 - paid around $33k

 
At 3:00 PM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

Canary Yellow Yugo!

 
At 3:03 PM, Anonymous Mr. Parx said...

Driving around in your black 5-0,
Got the top down so your hair can blow.

Ice. Ice, Baby.

Mustang convertible. And you deserve it.

Best,
Mr.P.

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger CarmenSinCity said...

I have no idea - but I think I'll take a shot anyway... Honda Civic.

 
At 6:22 PM, Blogger Easycure said...

American? check
SUV? check

It's a Ford Explorer!

(And I LOVE being the MOST WRONG.)

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger Easycure said...

Of course, when you read the title of the post, it's an Audi. A gold A4 maybe?

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger Kel said...

Toyota Prius -

now that you are alone you can still use the carpool lane

 
At 6:03 AM, Blogger StB said...

I am going with a Chevy Cobalt. Just enough giddy up to get you around.

As much as I would like to say a Mustang (you would look good in a Pony), I don't think you went total crisis car.

 

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