Friday, December 23, 2005

Fake Trees and Sap

By a vote of 1-1, we elected to get a fake Christmas tree this year, the wife's one vote trumping my one vote. Tradition, smell, the joy of living things, I argued. Mess, cost, the two hours spent straightening with the faulty tree stand, she countered. As usual, we went her way.

A few weeks back, I set about erecting this abomination. In further insult, it's actually self-lit. I set about plugging this into that, shoving shafts, fluffing branches that hung on hinges. It wasn't hard, but I was still sour. Who puts a tree together?

This time of year can be frantic, the pressing crush of the local mall, the rickety ladder foiling attempts at linear light-hanging, the pressures of time and family and planning. It obscures the reason, stresses the motions instead of the motive.

So there I was, my knees pressed inconveniently to the hardwood floor, grumbling about the artificiality of it all. I clicked the doohickey, bringing the tree to its representation of life, when AJ, who had quietly come to stand behind me, draped his arms over my shoulders.

"Thank you, Daddy," he said unexpectedly, in a voice that could end the world's pain and suffering.

"You're welcome, buddy," I replied, turning to accept his full embrace.

"The tree looks great."

"Yeah," I sighed. "It sure does."

Merry Christmas, everybody.


At 12:30 PM, Blogger BadBlood said...

Happy Holidays to the Speakers from the Bloods.

One less year until the AJ/miniBlood head2head showdown at the WSOP.

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Daddy said...

Happy Holidays to the Speakers from the Daddies.

Or, whoever the fuck we are.

Cheers, my friend.

At 7:21 PM, Blogger April said...

I want AJ for just a week. One week in which the days will be filled with laughter and reminders of just how good life can be. You're a lucky man, and that little boy has a great set of parents. Merry Christmas.

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Huge Junk said...

Happy Holidays from Bobby Bracelet and the throngs of women who follow me around all day and night. They think AJ is cute.

At 3:11 PM, Blogger facty said...

Merry Christmas!

Please tell the Mrs. I owe her a story about a bug and some poop.

Also tell AJ to set a really good Santa trap tonight with plenty of rope. The best bait is milk and cookies!



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