Thursday, December 22, 2005

Great Moments in Selective Memory

Enjoying the hue and cry from the rabidly self-centered Red Sox fans over Jesus (Judas?) Damon signing with the Yankees. Um, you guys do recall how you acquired Damon, right? As a free agent. Just four years ago. When he signed with THE HIGHEST BIDDER.

At some point in the last four years he achieved some kind of mythical status that elevated him above the usual "Professional Athletes Care Far Less About Their Team Than You Do" status? Gimme a break. Yeah, he was sort of an iconic figure that helped wipe out your lifetime of suffering. And what did he do almost immediately after? Cash in. Books, Queer eye, he dumped his first wife and married a trophy. His agent is Scott Boras! You can't possibly really be this dumb.

So now he's betrayed Red Sox Nation. That's a laugh. He was never part of you. You were a way station. Just another 'ho.

At least you got a ring as a tip. Now please, STFU.


At 1:45 PM, Blogger Donkeypuncher said...

In my heart, Damon will always be a Royal. Huh?

You see the weird shit the Cubs are trying to do with Prior for Tejada? Head about to explode...

At 2:14 PM, Blogger alan said...

Well said.

At 2:57 PM, Blogger Greg said...

Dear Boston,

Thanks for Swisher.

Your town sucks and it's too cold and why in God's name is it necessary to have 40,000 dunkin donuts in an area the size of San Francisco?

At 4:11 PM, Blogger Wil Wheaton said...

This is where I start the slow 80s teen movie clap, and pretty soon the entire school is applauding with me.

Well said, Mr. Speaker. Bravo!

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At 8:39 AM, Blogger CraigNY said...

Bill Simmons actually has a sane, articulate take on all of this. Other Red Sox fans should read his column and chill out.

At 4:53 AM, Anonymous roqq said...

all I know is that now that Johnny is complying with George's grooming code he looks like a FAG!

(deep breath)

also, this isn't half as big as the Mets signing Pedro. That was just less of a surprise, and he didn't go to the Yankees. Pedro was worth the money though. Johnny... not so sure

At 5:42 AM, Blogger Wwonka said...

As a sox fan, I am not too upset
Yes he was good. But he has no arm and is moving to one of the biggest fields
in the majors.

he will also be 37 at the end of his


At 9:20 AM, Blogger Performify said...

Well written Joe. Donkeypuncher's got it right, for those of us in KC, Damon's a Royal at heart and already walked out on us once. When he hooked up with Boston, its just like watching a buddy hook up with a chick that you know is crazy from personal experience - he's going to get burned in the long run too, but its a fun ride while it lasts, but when she does finally go nuts, its not like you weren't expecting it all along.


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