An Abominable Work of Staggering Idiocy

So, here we are again. Early Sunday morning, far too many beers to enumerate and an MTT on Stars. Come on along for the ride, will ya?

Man, I was getting my ASS kicked earlier. Dumped out of a $20 MTT on a 3-outer. Dropped $80 in an NLHE ring game when my KK ran into a set of 8s. I was stuck almost $200. But I took a break, started mainlining Heinekin and made a huge comeback to almost pull back even. Deck started beating me about the head and shoulders. Pulled a large chunk of it back when flopping the nut straight and getting a set of tens to come along for the ride. The boat when I held JJ against trip aces helped, too.

Back in the day, I woulda just kept dumping chips, loosening up in a misguided attempt to make up the lost ground. Anyway, enough of the "good for me."

It's really hard to raise in the dark. I keep raising 70, instead of 60.

Nothing like $5000 pots on Level 1 of these tourneys. Sheesh. Q2s wins it.

Bro wants to learn how to play poker. Bro, as you may surmise, is the brother of a good buddy of mine. He called me out of the blue today for "lessons." Pretty funny. I went to Vegas once with Bro and after three hours we were calling him "Eddie Mush." A craps dealer at the Mirage even asked us we wanted him thrown out for walking by the table with his bad vibes in tow. I think he was joking. Anyway, the first thought I had upon hearing this genius news was "Dead Money."

Current CD: "Bug" Dinosaur Jr. J Mascis is a weird dude. I'd like to think he'd like this post.

I just folded 9s to on an 8-high board with a big bet in front of me. A big step forward for me. Since pocket tens called the bet. And lost to The Hiltons.

Tournament update: 177 of 370. Just below avg. chip stack.

Now, back to the ridiculosity. I have to pee.

Can you tell I'm just typing whatever comes into my head?

I'm now taking requests. The latter half of "Bug" is just too bizarre and feed-backy.

The odds are 3-1 against I'll post this drivel. Someday we'll refer to it as the "lost post." What do you want me to do? I'm in the dark, hopelessly verbose, everybody's in bed and I'm drunk. It's the perfect recipe for jackassery.

I just folded KJo UTG. Woulda flopped a boat. Of course, I woulda had to pay a 4x raise from AQs, who, naturally, chased all the way to the river and lost. Does anyone else have trouble throwing away big cards if the flop misses? I don't. I'll chuck 'em without remorse if circumstances dictate. But if you raised pre-flop and you won't win the pot with a post-flop bet, you gotta know you're behind right? At least based on opponent reads.

Ohmylord. I almost forgot.

PokerStars Game #1312132355: Hold'em No Limit ($0.50/$1.00) - 2005/03/06 - 02:26:22 (ET)
Table 'Theobalda' Seat #4 is the button
Seat 2: JoeSpeaker ($88.45 in chips)
Seat 3: neen70380 ($22.90 in chips)
Seat 4: Jamie34 ($17 in chips)
Seat 5: bigtmoney032 ($50.65 in chips)
Seat 7: JSmoothMD ($37.80 in chips)
Seat 8: Romanichine ($97.85 in chips)
bigtmoney032: posts small blind $0.50
JSmoothMD: posts big blind $1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JoeSpeaker [7h 2c]
Romanichine: calls $1
JoeSpeaker: raises $3 to $4
neen70380: folds
Jamie34: folds
bigtmoney032: folds
JSmoothMD: folds
Romanichine: folds
Romanichine is sitting out
Romanichine leaves the table
JoeSpeaker collected $3.50 from pot
JoeSpeaker: doesn't show hand
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $3.50 | Rake $0
Seat 2: JoeSpeaker collected ($3.50)
Seat 3: neen70380 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Jamie34 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: bigtmoney032 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 7: JSmoothMD (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 8: Romanichine folded before Flop

No, I didn't show. Or type in "The Hammer!" Sue me.

I may have an AJ problem. I play it like it's a royal flush. Like it's invincible. But I win with it so damn often. Just played it from EP and the flop came Q J 10 rainbow. I kept betting it. Three people kept calling it. Which might denote someone having a gosh darn queen. Yet, I won a big pot when Kx and Ax didn't catch their straights and pocket 7s got detached from his brain stem.

First break update: T3825. 89 of 221. Just below average.

You may think writing in your blog is -EV whilst playing a tournament. But I say NO! It's easier than taking notes with quill and papyrus. Especially after several drinks. And by "several," I mean "I don't know how many."

You may think it's -EV to be barley- and hop-addled whilst playing a tournament. You may have a point. The math gets sorta muddled, for one. But I'm a more aggressive player when liquored up and that pays off if I can manage to recognize the right spots. Well, I guess that would be the case under any circumstances, which means when I'm sober I'm just a big fat wuss. Please disregard this paragraph.

I haven't seen a flop since the Carter administration.

Hot. Wings of Hell
Burns in my wake
Death. Is what youpray
Behold. Captor of Sin

Okay, so Slayer maybe isn't my good luck music, after all. Just bombed out of the tourney with 15 outs twice. Called a minimum raise from the BB with T9s. Flopped open-ended AND flush draw. Pocket aces bet my ass all-in and I didn't catch. It's been fun y'all.

I'll probably delete this in the mo'nin'. Or come back and make fun of me.