I Hate Myself and Want to Die...

Precious little poker content today, as I only played a single $20 SnG last night, which I won. “You’re not going to play any more?” my dear and patient wife asked. I didn’t and it seems to me I have a lot easier time shutting it down for the night after a win. Hmmm, a psychological issue that needs to be explored there at some later date? Guess I should figure out what it means. I played that tourney about as well as I’ve played any. Successfully bluffed pots, had great reads and put pressure on my opponents. Especially in regards to betting on flops while holding little more than overcards, a tactic I am loathe to use under most circumstances at this stage of my development/ability. But I was right on every time last night. And I was certain I had the right reads before I made my move. Yes, I’m a little pleased with myself this morning. It’ll pass.

Also dropped about $20 at the Bad Beat tables. Found my set of 3s was third-best of three sets. Unlucky. Jackpot was up over $500K last night. Nor did I win the lottery.

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When I first started this thing, I gave a rough outline of what I expected I’d talk about on here. Turns out, it’s mostly been poker. Which is fine. This poker blogging community is a life-force in itself and nothing would please me more than to be pulled fully into its orbit.

The problem, as I see it, is that my knowledge of poker is less than adequate to write about it consistently and eloquently. A sure sign of that is the focus on my own play, relating of the results, hand histories, etc. It’s all I really have to go on. I couldn’t hope to delve into poker theory like Hdouble as I can’t think on that level yet. Again, I’m plenty okay with that. A large motivation to start this thing was think about my play, my information gathering, and to set it down. When I put thoughts to paper—so to speak—it makes it concrete for me, a random spewing of random ideas that takes an actual form, assisting in my study. Since a great deal of my present thoughts revolve around poker, it’s only natural they would find purchase here.

Of course, the other motivation was to write regularly again, like I used to before I had a wife and child to entertain on a nightly basis (they might call it something else). I have always been highly critical of my own writing and I’m just plain despondent about what I’ve managed here so far. It’s my nature. Yet, and here’s where this thought comes full circle (one hopes), I was VERY happy with my little essay on the A’s ownership change the other day. Upon reflection, I’m sure that has everything to do with the fact that I am FAR more knowledgeable about the A’s than I am about pretty much anything else in the universe (it’s an under-appreciated skill). Which led to the conclusion that someday maybe I could write as well about poker, as long as I continue to gather information and experience. It also led me to the certainty that I need to write about other subjects, as well, such as the ones I mentioned in my very first post, to satisfy the writing jones.

As such, I’ve got a big music treatise just WAITING to explode out of me. It’s all jumbled and spastic right now, reminding me of the childhood science movies with the ping pong balls and the mousetraps. I hope to bang it out before I head off on my Vegas weekend. If not, this will be all until at least Monday.

Last thing, if Al isn’t the funniest person on Planet Earth, I don't know who is.