Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Here I Go Again On My Own

News and Notes from around the solar system revolving around me:

Tossing the 'Dise

One of my favorite donkey farms is shuttering its doors due to the Forces of Evil in DC. No more Special Re-Buys on Paradise. I logged on this weekend to check the fields in these formerly guaranteed tourneys to find those guarantees gone and the prize pool totalling a third of the previous $30K or so. These, both the $10 and $25 version, have been my biggest moneymaker this year, with three Final Tables and 70% cashes, so I was mighty disappointed. Though I did have a nice chuck to withdrawl, an act I'm happy to report went smoothly.

The positive implications on Poker Stars and Full Tilt are evident, as a quick perusal of their guarateed tourneys showed a marked uptick in prize pools, including the Crazy $11 Re-Buy which went over $80K, the highest I've ever seen by a large margin. Lots of people taking shots, playing like maniacs.

Green and Gold Lining

The next best thing to winning the World Series is Ken Macha getting his feckless ass fired. Let's hope he stays fired, unlike last year. Oddly enough, the reason was basically a full-scale mutiny in the clubhouse, not his total inability to manage a ballgame. This is irony at its finest since Macha's defenders (seriously, there are some) consistently pointed to his "leadership" as a positive, so positive, in fact, as to cancel out his idiotic in-game "strategy." Turns out he sucked all the way around.

Not that the sweep at the hands of the Tigers was his fault. The A's simply got out-played. Even so, one can blame him for leaving Loaiza in too long in Game 2, for not giving Kielty, he of the .985 OPS v. lefties, a start against southpaws (he didn't get a post-season AB at all until Game 3 of the ALDS, when, of course, Macha sent him up against a righty), his unnatural love for all things Joe "The Gascan" Kennedy and, while this might be conjecture on my part, I believe he's responsible for all the pain and suffering in the world.

As a result of the A's failure (and credit goes to the Tigers, they were way better), I will be forced to wear a "puffy" shirt at the next WPBT event (actually, the next, next one, since Bobby won't make the Winter Classic). I've also graciously offered to top the ensemble with a Magglio Ordonez wig (call it a bonus for sweeping), which would make me look a bit like a member of Whitesnake, a fact with which I'm suprisingly cool.

Extra Spicy

I was not in the right frame of mind to participate in Pauly's Spice Girls Contest this weekend, but if I had been, I'd have chosen Mrs. Dash. She's always been my favorite, if more of a Spice Lady than Spice Girl, specifically her immeasurable aid in grilling lemon chicken. Yes, she's a bit matronly, but the old bitch can bring it in the kitchen. I just don't see Posh or Ginger being able to whip up a passable Shepherd's Pie.

If the contest was "Which Spice Girl would you most like to sleep with?" the answer, then, now and forever more is Ginger. The red boots, the Union Jack bustier, the grace, the flowing robes...stunning.

Speaking of the Doctor, he's hit his second straight Truckin' Deadline in a row. This is a rare accomplishment, along the lines of Bobby winning at blackjack or me being good at Fantasy Sports. It's an excellent issue, despite the presence of my drivel, so I encourage you to check it out.


1.October Subway Stories by Paul McGuire
A hunched-over bum slowly navigated his way through the crowded car and sat down in an empty seat next to me. He carried a big black bulky garbage bag which happened to be the standard issue for every homeless person in the city along with the same pair of sneakers four sizes too big and a ratty grey winter coat... More

2. Roots - Part II by Doog
To soothe the ache deep in his soul, Leo G took solace in the welcoming arms of lovely young nubile chickadees, sometimes several sets of arms at the same time. After all, when you’ve got dashing good looks, a mercury-silver tongue, and the willingness to use the above in a less-than-moral manner, why not?... More

3. Gummy by C. Anderson Guthrie
This woman wasn't the kind of woman you bring home to momma, oh no -- she was the kind of woman that takes out her teeth before giving an alleyway blowjob. You know, the considerate type... More

4. Total Recall by Joe Speaker
I was grilling another young co-ed, flirtatious pressure amidst the stench of spilled beer and rampaging testosterone. The scene was cliched, she said, and she marked me down as a typical frat boy, interested only in getting drunk and getting naked... More

5. Until I Am No Longer Needed by Sean A. Donahue
My back felt the brunt of the pain and as the dust settled I examined my predicament. I was ten feet down in a hole of an ancient volcano with my right arm broken and my left leg shattered... More

Wearing the Daddy Pants

I've not had much time for poker lately, mainly because I have AJ more often, a fabulous development. X's schedule, both professional and social, has given me two more days/nights with him each week (that's why I haven't played The Mookie, Al, now get off my back.

I've been beating myself up lately because I've fallen short of some of the changes I intended to make in the wake of my divorce (quitting smoking, writing more), but I've had no such concerns about single Daddyhood. I think I'm kicking ass and AJ is (mostly) adapting very well, near as I can see. I honestly have no idea WTF is going on at X's house, beyond the fact her and the Douchebag are apparently joined at the hip. He's there every time I go over (usually hiding in the bedroom), so I'm glad AJ is getting more time with me, where he has my undivided attention.

I've had some stronger-than-usual tilt moments in the past month regarding X. Without going into detail, let's just say she continues to act in ways directly opposite to what she says to my face. It's always how important I am as AJ's father and how wonderful and what a great fucking guy and then when I'm not around her every action undermines my position. It's sickening, really. Pathological, even.

I don't know that it will ever change. I don't know that whatever Karmic Day of Reckoning is in store for her will alter this defect. I don't know whether her behavior is simple cruelty or abject naivate. I can only guess, 'cause she'd never tell. What I have figured out is that she doesn't just lie to me. She lies to herself.

I don't know that I ever fully mentioned this particular event, but it might provide some illustration. You might recall how she told AJ to lie to me about a trip to the movies to see "Curious George." This was in the middle of all the shit and less than a day after she agreed (to my face) not to bring the Douchebag around my son, as it would be irresponsible and detrimental. Well, she did it anyway, the three of them going to a Monday matinee and trying to hide the fact by a) giving the Douchebag a fake name and b) telling AJ "not to tell Daddy because Daddy wanted to see 'Curious George' and he would be sad he didn't get to go."

The next day, AJ told me that "Matt" went to the movies with them. "Matt" is the name of one of X's colleagues, one with four young children of his own. I expressed surprise at this knowledge and reiterated again that bringing random men around AJ at that point in time was incredibly stupid. X defended bringing "Matt," 'cause he's just a friend, defended it vociferously for a couple days, even as I tried to point out how irresponsible it was.

Of course, the more I thought about it, the more things didn't add up (like why a guy with four young kids of his own would go to a kid's movie without them) and I figured out it was actually the Douchebag who went with them. So, there was not only further deceit, but I spent two days arguing with someone who ardently defended a fictional occurance.

It makes me think of OJ, who has very clearly convinced himself he did't kill Nicole. I think X has convinced herself that nothing she does carries any ramifications toward AJ, like...you know...bringing the Douchebag and the Douchebag's sister to AJ's soccer game when I was in Philly, despite the fact my Mom, sister, brother-in-law and niece were there. Again, I don't know if this is an insidious trait or one simply borne of ignorance. Either way, there's nothing I can do to change it. Except to happily accept AJ every time she needs to run off toward whatever shiny thing catches her attention.


At 2:08 PM, Blogger Doog said...

That Shakespeare guy knew what the hell he was talking about when he wrote, "This above all: to thine own self be true." Sounds like X never read Hamlet. It's pretty fucking lame to coerce your own son into lying in order to try to protect your own ass.

Okay, enough venom from the Doog. Keep up the good work with AJ, and take personal pride in the fact that when he turns out to be a well-adjusted adult you'll be fully and solely responsible.

I'm hearing that Ron Washington is the front-runner to replace Macha - I'm all for it, he's a hell of a baseball guy and by all accounts is the clubhouse choice.

At 2:36 PM, Blogger slb159 said...

As long as everything is going well with AJ, then now worries. Yes, you'll have to deal with X for the rest of your life, but no use trying to contemplate her bizzaro actions. Yeah, I know, easier said than done (especially coming from someone like me.) But it'll save you some grief in the future.
Best of luck.

At 2:57 PM, Blogger The Bracelet said...

Can I send her a "Mom of the Year" plaque and mug?

Pretty please?


I'll send one every month from various addresses and using different carriers so she will suspect nothing every time as she opens up the package and gets a friendly reminder that she is possibly the worst mother I know.

At 4:47 PM, Blogger jremotigue said...

With the puffy shirt and Ordonez wig, you're gonna look like Micki Free.

"Yo! Shalamar got a new girl in there. Bitch fine like a muthafucka."

At 5:41 AM, Blogger Pokerwolf said...

The Day of Reckoning will arrive when her son doesn't want to be around her anymore.

Keep on keepin' on, Speaker Daddy. You da man!

At 11:23 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

I think you've already hit the head on the nail in saying she really doesn't understand that her actions cause reactions from those around her.

If you had said she ran up to your mom during the soccer game and gave her a hug while introducing douchebag poet to your mom.

I wouldn't have been shocked.

Sickened to death, but not shocked.

At 1:12 PM, Blogger BigPirate said...

Myths perpetrated by parents:

My life is fine = My child's life is fine

I'm happy = My child is happy

My actions have no detrimental affect on my child as:
1. They are too young to know what is going on.
2. (alternatively) They are mature enough to deal with the situation.

This is the way my parents handled it and I turned out fine.

The Truth of the Matter:

The fact that you think you have come to grips with your problems does not mean you have full conception of your child's needs.

The fact you are happy is very nice. Your child used to be happy though, when Mommy and Daddy were together. Now, they are sad and you have to work to get them back to the former state.

Your child sees and takes note of almost everything you do. Their mental filing cabinet is huge. They are too young to deal with adult issues but they conversely do not have the adult ability to cope with such things.

Your parents' lives teach valuable lessons. The question is, should one emulate their lives or learn from their mistakes and seek not to repeat them?

Ultimate Truth:

Some kids are extremely lucky they have Dad's who are willing to do whatever it takes to make unwanted transitions as stress free as possible.

AJ is a lucky kid.

At 1:47 PM, Blogger BigPirate said...


Yes, they are too young to understand adult issues. They do have conception that something is wrong though, but do not have the adult ability to cope with such things.

At 10:09 AM, Blogger Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

And the crowd chants...bring back RICKEY!

At 1:52 PM, Blogger Wwonka said...

I am Sorry to say but You will Probably never be able to figure her out. It sounds like AJ will be fine since he has a dad who cares about and loves him. Make sure you tell him.

Next time she drops A.J. off have a really hot stripper with big tits over and let her answer the door and see how "X" likes it.


At 2:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sincerely sorry about the whole situation with "X". People like her just don't understand the ramifications of their actions, but all you can do is be the best person you can be, and help shape AJ's personality into one that is anti-X.


Post a Comment

<< Home