Sporadically Slow Joe Speaker

New colors! Because The Bracelet did it, and I just wanna be one of the guys (actually, you may or may not have noticed I no longer had a blog title, due to it being a custom one that disappeared from its hosting site and I couldn't manipulate the template to get it back to the stock header, so I replaced the whole she-bang and somehow, amazingly, managed to not lose the millions of words I've horked up onto this virtual page).

Also, I won two G's playing poker last night, so I was feeling like I really should have a blog title again, for the SEO, of course, considering the millions of readers who come here for my expertise, which, sadly, doesn't extend to the End Game, at which I remain hopelessly out of my depth, but I have a 304% ROI in 2010. Bitches.

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Emet sent me a text while I was on the train last evening that said she was celebrating a co-worker's birthday and wouldn't be home until late. Curious, since I seemed to recall attending a birthday party for this person just last Saturday night, but Wednesday was her ACTUAL birthday and teachers do like to hoist a few. My next thought was "POKER!" since I haven't played much since moving to the new pad and then I realized "MOOKIE NIGHT," so that fired me up even more.

The good folks at my Mookie table would be surprised to learn I finished 6th in the 50/50 for almost two grand, since I managed to not make the first break in The Mook, despite holding the chip lead (of more than T8000) early on. Yes, you could say I was inviting action. Eventually chucked the last of 'em away with AK to A7 on an A74 board. Which allowed me to focus on my tiny stack in the 50/50. I didn't get over par in that 'un until Hour Four and it took some massive retardation to pull me into the fray.

I will never understand the over-push pre-flop, but I was quite happy to benefit from it. Guy directly to my right had 70K to my 24K with the blinds/antes at 400/800/75, so he's got plenty and even I'm not desperate, but he open-shoves in the SB, I wake up with AQ and call, besting his K8. Very next hand, he open-shoves his button and I have QQ. A7 no good. Well played, sir.

(I rarely do this, but I was a little buzzed and highly amused, so I wondered in chat if he had a plane to catch or something. He replied that I should Go Fuck Myself. Touche.)

From there, I did a solid job to get 6th. Went card dead for 75 minutes and got re-popped on a couple steals, so I was dwindling while others were stacking. I was last in chips with 6 left when I called another position over-push with 33 and did not win the race v. A5. Sweet. Mobneys. All of which I will bet on West Virginia. This is not because I hate Duke. Quite the contrary. I can recall shooting hoops in the front yard and pretending to be Mike Gminski (The G-Man, The Ginger Avenger; oh man, if only he were called The Ginger Avenger, that's the greatest nickname ever) or Gene Banks. I most certainly rooted for them against Louisville when Never Nervous Pervis Ellison led the Cardinals to the title (Boy am I glad that nickname trend didn't catch on, a personality trait that rhymes with the player's name; We'd have to deal with stupid shit like Intermittent Guile Kyle Singler or Frequently Loquacious Korey Lucius. Actually, that's kind of fun).

Back to the point (there's a point?), I'm rooting for the Mountaineers because Emet's bracket will finish second in Pauly's Pub if they take the title. I'm not emasculated by that at all.

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Thanks to all who commented/twittered/called regarding yesterday's post. I feel like I'm walking a fine line between Concerned Parent and Outright Lunatic. Seems most have had at least one bad experience with a youth coach, so I shouldn't be surprised. One conversation led me to believe all will be fine if AJ knows I have his back and I think that works.

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Speaking of AJ, can there possibly be anything more awesome than your child calling you on the phone and when you answer, he screams, "VEGAS!" No. The answer is no. He's on his second week of Spring Break and X took him to Vegas yesterday. He's beyond fired up and in the midst of our conversation asked if I would take him with me when I go to Vegas this summer (June 12-16...come on down!) and...Jeez...having to tell that excitable boy "No" is the opposite of him screaming "VEGAS!" but Daddy is there for Adult Things, son, and can not entertain the notion it might rub off on his innocent child. Just yet.

Been mulling playing one of the Recession Buster Donkfests during the WSOP when I'm there this summer (hey, lookee there, a $1K starts on June 12, what serendipity!). Honest appraisal of my live tournament skillz is that it's flushing money down the toilet, but maybe I throw in one more online score before June and I'll buy that lottery ticket anyway. If not, I will spend my hours as usual, with the added bonus of World Cup soccer in the sportsbooks, annoying our esteemed writers to hurry up and finish for the day so we can Pai Gow and, very likely, golf (hopefully, some of you locals can find a day to join me).

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Lastly, thanks to you railbirds last night. Remember that time you watched me play poker? That was awesome.