Key West Cliff Notes

Best Unheeded Advice

Iggy, on Thursday night in South Beach: "The key to lasting all weekend is staying away from liquor. Let's make a pact."

Within the hour, Jager Bombs arrived.

Second Best Unheeded Advice

Me, to DonkeyPuncher: "Don't do that third one, dude."

He did. And puked before dinner.

Dirty Greeks

With Joe's Stone Crab closed, we ended up at a Greek Restaurant for dinner. It was loud, there was table belly dancing and every now and then, the waiters would gather handfuls of napkins and toss them in the air, screaming "Oopa!" (which doubled as the name of the restaurant; very clever those Greeks). Frequently, the napkins would land on our plates of food, which would have been only a minor nuisance had they not initially gathered the napkins from the floor.

Most Shocking Self-Realization

I can't drink tequila any more. One shot killed me on Saturday night, taking me from Drunken Giddiot to Gasping Potential Puker in 1.5 oz. The heartburn continues to reverberate 40 hours later. I think they might have actually served me lighter fluid and half my esophagus is now gone.

Best Prop Bet

Lazy, hungover Saturday afternoon at the ACH Compound. It had been an afternoon of college pigskin and poker, none of us moving swiftly. There were three Lazy-Boys lined up across from the TV and the inhabitants therein had not moved in some time, in fact, seemed to have become one with their chairs. DP and Grubby wagered on which would (could?) get up first. Each time one stirred, the tension thickened and each time they stayed put, laughter thundered.

Two Things I Did For the First Time in My 40+ Years

Rode a mechanical bull and did jello shots.

Jello Shots? Really?

DP and his brother each bought an entire tray of jello shots from waitresses. One can not demure in the face of such generosity, especially when they offer to actually feed it to you.

Wardrobe Changes

Thursday: 1
Friday: 1
Saturday: 0

What I Wagered On

Pool, The Boxer, Galaga, Turtle Races (rigged), Mechanical Bull Riding, Underwater swimming distance

Inside Joke With the Most Legs

"So...I'm in middle position with pocket 3s..."

Summary: Damage potentially irrevocable. Life span shortened. Totally worth it.

Thanks to Al and the crew for another priceless weekend.