Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Santa Sucks!

Circa 36 hours until wheels up and my airborne steel tube of death whisks me off to tropical Malvern, PA for the annual Bash at the Boathouse. It's my first time. Be gentle. I've been doing some research and am looking forward to such Philly-area traditions as city fountains flowing with beer, the traditional handing out of free cheesesteaks and, of course, booing Santa Claus.

I'm taking the red-eye tomorrow night, four hours to Atlanta, then two more up to Philly. I hope to sleep during all of it with the aid of my foam neck pillow which served me so well during my trip across The Pond this summer. Not one to put all my eggs in one basket, I also bought a portable DVD player yesterday. If sleep doesn't come, I'll have Vic Mackey to keep me company. I just finised Episode 4 of Season 3 last night (not a good one for Tavon) and was struck by the realization I only have 22 more episodes left (Season 5 has no release date that I can find). I'm already anticipating the withdrawl.

It brings to mind a time during the mid-90s when my roommate, Paddy Dynamics, and I would faithfully watch NYPD Blue re-runs every night on FX (midnight on the west coast; check your local listings). They were running them in order, which was a boon to me, since I'd only been a sporadic viewer the first two seasons. The first season is still the finest cop show ever. While Mackey may be able to hang with Sipowicz, he doesn't have a Det. Johnny Kelley on his staff.

I'll be among the first to arrive in PHI and hopefully I'll be somewhat rested, 'cause I'm meeting up with Trip and gracie (and Sweet, Sweet Pablo) at, (where else?) the airport bar, roughly 8 a.m. body clock time. We're not going to be having OJ and Eggs Florentine, I'm guessing. I'm fully prepared for my internal organs to take a massive hit this weekend, but I want them to be able to function in high gear for as long as possible. I wanna be coherent to see Derek puke and rally, to watch F-Train drink twice his body weight in SoCo, to wager on which inanimate object Blood will use to skull somebody, to draft off The Rooster and, finally, to raise drizz off a better hand (theoretically speaking).

I'm also hoping my good friend, loyal American and long-time drinking buddy Primetime will be able to make the trek down from New England on Saturday to join in the festivities. He says it's only a 5-hour drive, but that's assuming the freeways aren't cluttered with Red Sox fans leaping to their deaths from freeway overpasses. The self-proclaimed Idiots are staying home this fall, which tickles me to no end, what with their bloated payroll of suck and saving the rest of the Free World from Joe Buck soiling his trousers then smearing the Yanks-Sawx overhype all over his body, though Boston fans take heart, you'll still be the lead story on Sportscenter every night.


Not much else going on. AJ takes up a lot of time with homework and twenty minutes of nightly reading (that's HIM reading, not me reading TO him). He's pretty strong with the words and I couldn't be more proud. He gets frustrated ("Just like you used to!" says my Mom) when he doesn't know a word immediately, but he also has this satisfying look when he figures it out. I did play a $50+5 90-seat SnG on Stars last night after he went to bed and made it to the final threee tables before losing a 60-40. The only hand of note was one where I tried to isolate a short-stack push with AQ from the BB, got called by a limper. Flop was KTx and I check-folded to the limper's bet. Guess what he had? That's right, KQ. That's five in a row. I believe that's known as an outlier. It's the poker equivalent of the Dodgers' 9th inning on Monday. The lesson, as always, AQ is a filthy whore.

I like morons. I especially like them when they call me one. The other night, when I final tabled the Paradise Re-buy, I was somewhat short nearing the bubble. As my loyal readers know, this is one of the places in a tourney where I turn up the aggressiveness, a tactic I especially employ in the 'dise tourney because the blinds escalate so quickly. I had 22K, which was good for an M of 5+. We were 15 or so from the money bubble. With AJ in the CO, I pushed over two limpers, both of them similarly stacked. By the time it got to me, there was already 6K in the pot. That's free money. If one of the limpers was dumb enough to limp with a hand that dominated mine, so be it.

Anyway, everyone folded and I gave myself a little breathing room. The funny part was being chastised by the BB, who said that I must be "retarded" for pushing at that point of the tourney. My read was that he had a playable hand, but folded it because of the bubble (I, of course, made no return comment). Which is EXACTLY why it (usually) pays to be aggressive there. If people are trying to fold to the money, you can take the blinds and antes with any two, as you will only get called with 5 hands or so, making it a statistically +EV play. Have I bubbled dong this sort of thing? Sure. But I've also made deeep runs because I was able to fatten my stack at that juncture.

The key is to attack the small-to-medium stacks. Big stacks will call you with all kinds of shit. I know. I've done it.


Happy Birthday to the illustrious Dr Pauly, my patron, my hero, my friend. Can't wait to see him, and the rest of you degenerates, this weekend.


At 12:42 PM, Blogger Dr. Pauly said...

Thanks bro...!

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Greg said...

Philthadelphia is the best Northeast city. It's like New York, except without the incredibly condensed everything, the smell of urine everywhere, and rats running up your pantlegs.

it still has, however, godawful weather year round and loud, obnoxious citizens.

But go to Gino's on South Street. And I don't care what anybody says, don't get the god damn cheese whiz on your cheese steak. it's terrible.

At 2:03 PM, Blogger PokahDave said...

Um...good luck in the playoffs with Ken Macha...hehehe

At 2:31 PM, Blogger TripJax said...

My stomach is already starting to reject foods cause it knows a liquid diet is on the way this weekend...

See you soon.

At 2:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was going to recommend Pat's steaks, but you should let your host make the final recommendation. Pat's or Gino's is a question of religion.

If you are flying from Atlanta to PHL (!), I reckon that you are on Delta, and will be arriving at Terminal E. I don't know much about Terminal E, except that it is small.

Your best bet, is to hike over to the B-C connector hallway. The airport has put up a sort of a minimall. There is an Independence Brew Pub over there. Ride the people mover to the middle then get off. It'll be on your right, and in front of you.

I am a little partial to the the Sky Asian bistro in Terminal C. The pad thai is nice, sweet not spicy. The ambiance is a little lacking though, as even at noon, the shades make it a dark little cave. If you decide to go there, it is halfway down terminal C, no your left.

You probably know this, but it bears reminding, do not exit through security until you are ready to leave.

At 4:12 PM, Blogger Gene said...

I've promised myself that quite soon I'm going to immerse myself in "The Shield", "The Wire", and "Deadwood". We're living in a Golden Age of television and I don't want to miss out too much.

I watched the first 2 seasons of "24" in...about 53 hours. Watching shows from week to week...that's for the proles, man.

Back in college I loved "Twin Peaks". I taped one of the shows and we got back from a party around 1AM and I wanted to watch it right then. My friends thought I was nuts, thought the show was stupid. They sat there as I caught up with Agent Coopers's adventures "How many shows do you have taped?" they asked. We all stayed up till 6AM watching the shows. True, Sherilyn Fenn and a well-fed Lara Flynn Boyle helped lure them in, but its fun to let a show seduce you like that.

At 12:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best cop show ever is without a doubt "the wire"!

At 6:28 AM, Blogger Drizztdj said...

Yes, my GQ model-esqe friend you may push me off my hand but I will still laugh in your general direction if the game gets changed to Omaha (theoretically of course) :)

Possible headline for the first story on Sportscenter today:

"Bo-Soxs get Boofed By Bonser"

... but instead they spooge the screen with Ortiz's 50th HR, then mumble something about the Twins winning.

At 7:41 AM, Blogger Donkeypuncher said...

i hate all bash-goers!

At 9:24 AM, Blogger Blinders said...

I hate bash goers to. We need to rally a west coast anti-bash bash for all the bash haters out there.


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