Re: Your Last Post
Dear Mr. Speaker (Acct # 16730376730),
Thank you for contacting http://www.selfpity.com. We have received your correspondance and one of our operators will reply within 72 hours. PLEASE DON'T RESPOND TO THIS E-MAIL. It is an automated program. If we gave you whiners free reign to pound our inboxes every time you have a bad day, no work would ever get done.
Regardless, we appreciate your business and are here to help. If you are feeling particularly vulnerable, we have a list of ready-made links to address your problems. Please see them below,
If you are drinking to forget, click
If you sob uncontrollably in a darkened room, click
If you have problems with intimacy, click
If you are having a panic attack, click
I hope our service has been of some help to you and, as always, we appreciate your patronage.
Customer Service Representative