Wednesday Poker Marathon

Welcome Sports Fans to the one and only Wednesday Poker Marathon. Before you enmesh yourself in the pending idiocy--or more likely, click away from this drivel as quickly as possible--please go sign up for the WPBT Event this evening at 9 p.n. PST on Poker Stars (password: the hammer). Presently only 29 people signed up. While such a number allows me to safely finish in the top 100 this time, I'm very much a member of the "more the merrier" school.

Let's rock.

8:48 a.m.: First up on the agenda is the $20 MTT on Stars beginning in 12 minutes. "The English Patient" is also beginning on HBO at the same time. Our sound man Bernard bets me $10 the movie lasts longer than I do. He's on.

8:51: We're starting the day off with coffee, while wondering at which point it would be kosher to hit the bottle.

9:00: Game on!

9:02: 451 competitors. $9,020 prize pool. 45 places paid. Don't you people have jobs? Seriously, it's a great world we live in when you can roll out of bed and find a poker tourney before the crust falls from your eyes.

9:05: Okay, I've had about as much of "The Englsih Patient" as I can take.

9:06 Double up. Pocket cowboys.

9:08: AJs is gold. Win a small pot.

9:18: How NOT to play pocket cowboys. Limp, flop a set, smooth call a $40 bet, smooth call a $40 bet on the turn, call off all your chips to a river all in with 4 to the straight on the board.

9:20: There's some short on an HBO channel with Mary Louise Parker. Damn, she does it for me. The voice, I think, is a big part of it. And she seems smart.

9:25: KK is an epidemic at this table. Five hands worth in the first 25. They're 3-2 so far, the second loss running into AA.

9:27: Mary Louise Parker just poisoned a guy.

9:28: First Hammer of the day. I folded in shame to a raise. Don't judge me.

9:30: "Deadwood" is a great show. Best use of "cocksucker" in entertainment since "Glengarry Glen Ross."

9:31: Level 3. Time to rock. any requests? No? Green Day it is. "American Idiot" is superb. Talk about your power pop. More hooks than a BASSMasters event. "Jesus of Suburbia" is the best multi-part epic since "Temples of Sphyrnx."

9:35: Stagnating a bit here in the tourney. A couple pre-flop raises (not a great deal of respect for those around here) and missed flops drop me down a bit. Still, since I'm usually ultra-tight the first hour, I have more chips than usual. A big-time LAG arrived at our table a few minutes ago and is throwing chips around with relish, to good effect so far. The runner-runner straight helped.

9:41: I don't care if you don't, I don't care if you don't, I don't care if you don't care

9:45: Level 4. Just dropped a chunk to a small stack who out-kicked me.

9:48: Good news. I caught the LAG. My QQ vs. his ATo. Bad news. He out-drew me. Bernard wins the bet.

10:00: No tourneys for another 3 hours. Bombing out in the first hour sortra ruins the whole "marathon" aspect of the running diary. But the tourneys are stacked up like trucks at the Mexican border this afternoon, so I'll be back then. Right now, I'm gonna go get a haircut.