As if my stupid joke about Easter and a weekend beer binge wasn't enough to put me on Hell's waiting list, I've managed to jump to the front of the line.
As resident expert on the dead and dying, I get a lot of questions regarding mortailty. For instance, my boss just asked me if the Pope is gonna die anytime soon.
"Yes," I said. "He's gonna die today. But he'll be back on Sunday."
Make sure your boss isn't Catholic before you use this one.