The Closest Thing to Heaven...

...on Earth is San Diego in the spring. At least when it's not hailing (like it did on Tuesday).

Shortly after this picture was taken, AJ and I would learn the meaning of "soak zone," as we were summarily drenched by Shamu. For the rest of the day, we smelled like salt water with a faint trace of Killer Whale feces.

One Shining Moment

This is just to note for posterity, for St. Paddy's Day drunkeness and the celebration of aberration that I, Joe Speaker, currently lead Pauly's Pub after 3 days of March Madness, thanks to an 8 for 8 slate today.

We may never pass this way again.

(I'd also like to give a shout to my Main Man Garthski, who managed a perfect Round One and was teetering on 40 for 40 until Indiana lost to UCLA--or until he picked agains the Bruins--earning me frequent text updates and earning him some Deadspin love).

Writers Writing

Pauly has released--to widespread acclaim, I'm told--the newest edition of Truckin'. I am honored to have a tale included in this L.A.-centric issue and it also includes a fistful of my favorite writers--and people--in the known universe. Please check out the whole gang.

1. Slices by Paul McGuire I'd spent most of my time partying hard doing blow with C-List actors while avoiding the daylight and roaming the city late at night during one of the most rowdy benders I'd undertaken in the past few years. We were vampires, sleeping during the days and partying every night until sunrise. I would not crash until 6 AM and by the time I'd wake up, everyone on the East Cast was leaving work for the day... More

2. The Next Block by Joe Speaker The crowd was a stew of unwashed urchins. My kind of people: musicians, writers and hustlers. Feast or famine in this town; the middle class doesn't pass the velvet rope, or lead the newscasts. Sally from Chatsworth is home making fucking meatloaf... More

3. Killing Independent George by Wil Wheaton We played on for another few levels, the clatter of shuffling chips frequently interrupted by the TD announcing the exit of famous actor after famous actor. I will admit that it felt good to be outlasting them., though I will also admit that it was the most Pyhrric of Pyhrric victories: where it really counts in Hollywood, they all have their names on call sheets, while I have mine on a blog... More

4. Everything You Need to Know About Driving in LA by Change100 In order to become a true L.A. driving warrior, you will sometimes have to be the asshole. This doesn't mean you're a bad person -- it only contributes to your overall savviness. By understanding that this attitude is just an unfortunately necessary part of your own survival, inner peace will come much easier... More

5. 15 Seconds by Dan Keston With minimal experience and a microscopic budget, I found a way to make a movie about kids and guns that was not only interesting enough to be one of sixteen selections out of five-thousand entries at the most prestigious festival in the world, but also the topic of a story on NPR and the lovechild of the largest gun lobby in Washington... More

6. Three Strikes and You're In by Dr. Tim Lavalli It was then that I realized I may have made a mistake trying to have a 'break-up' dinner here. Becca's gastronomic creations always put me at ease but ease was not the best place for easily ending a relationship. Besides the vaunted 'do it in public break-up' was a cowardly way out... More